Journey
by Da'khari
Summary: My Samcedes Tribute To Aretha Franklin: I'm stuck in that place where Mercy Jones does her first audtion with Aretha Franklin's 'Respect' and Sam Evans first presented us with his singing skills doing that Bruno Mars & Travis McCoy hit 'Billionaire'. Samcedes takes you on their journey, read on and enjoy the ride
1. Chapter 1

**Journey**

 **I actually started writing this just 3 days ago, I just heard the news about the dear lady Aretha Franklin and had to take time out of my holiday to share this tribute**

 **RIP**

 _ **I'm stuck in that place where Mercy Jones does her first audtion with Aretha Franklin's 'Respect' and Sam Evans first presented us with his singing skills doing that Bruno Mars & Travis McCoy hit 'Billionaire'**_

 **With that in mind we're going on a journey, so sit back, read on and enjoy the ride home**

 **Mercy**

Mercy was finally coming back home, she'd just finished her extenton classes made even longer by the opportunity of a life time to be one of the leading lady's in a musical drama centred around motown, that was right up her street.

She'd left things in Lima up in the air, there were a lot of things that hadn't been said, feelings that hadn't been touched on like; love, hate, losing out, timing, sacrifice. There was too much going on in her life to entertain it, she coudn't focus on anyone but herself back then, she'd been a bitch about it there was no other way to deal with it

Now all that drama was over classes had been passed and after nearly three solid years of acting the same role she felt like she was actually diappearing into her sudo-ego, she was tipping over the edge and after much contemplation she decided she needed to get out. It had taken nearly six months after that decision but she'd finally done it handed in her notice to leave the show, and a month later amid tears, laughter her last repraise of **Aretha Franklin's 'Respect'** along with alcohol, and with no idea what she was going ot do next, she made the break, she needed to get some focus, and to do that she needed to go back to her roots

As the car set about making that journey home, the things she'd left behind came flooding back she sat in the back of the car in silence, the music that was vibrating loudly in the seat dulling as her mind dared to relive the past events.

There were harsh things that had been said to some very dear freinds and now she wondered how she was going to deal with all that, she shook her head "Never gonna happen" she told herself they'd moved away years ago, if their dreams were anythig to go by, she smiled as she sunk back into her thoughts

 _ **Flashback**_

She giggled as she remembered going full on crazy at Sam when she walked into the kitchen, which he had no business being in, to see him dipping his finger in her cooking pot, he'd burn't himself no doubt but that really wasn't what she was focused on just then

 _"What the hell is your finger doing in my damn pot?" I yelled watching him spin round so fast he'd fogetten to suck the hot juice off his finger_

 _"I was just watching ..." he shook his finger trying to stop the burn_

 _"Watching it my foot, you were stealing my damn dinner"_

 _"No seriously, I heard it flash out the pan onto the cooker and i just came to check it, I was..."_

 _"Eating as much as you could before I came back in the damn kitchen?" I asked_

 _"No, if you'd just let me get a word in ..." he stopped at my eyes rolling at him_

 _"You are so damn sad and always so freaking sorry, what for this time, that you didn't ask before dipping your nasty finger in my food?"_

" _Will you let me speak?"_

 _"No not really, just get the hell out of my kitchen, who let you in anyway?" I looked round the kitchen asking_

 _"I came to see Blaine, he's getting dressed" he hissed back "Not that it's any of your damn business"_

 _"You spend more time here than you do with your new girlfriend" I snapped hard back at him_

 _"And that's your business because?"_

 _"You're standing in my kitchen stealing the food out my pot" I tilted her head at him wondering if he was in the same sinaerio as me_

 _"Look Mercedes, I get that we started off on the wrong foot, I get that I dissed you back then and I've said sorry nearly every damn day since, can we just be civil?"_

 _"I dont want to be anything with you Sam Evans"_

 _"Our best friends are together, we're going to see each other"_

 _"Not if I see you first Evans"_

 _"You're so fucking childish" he hissed at her_

 _"I'm childish and you're a damn thief, and how fucking dare you swear at me" my hands rolled into fists and rested on my hips I was conscious that my bag had fell off my shoulder_

 _"I didn't actually swear at you, you'd know if I did" he stepped towards me saying_

 _"You're a whore Evan's, you use women and I refuse to be associated with someone like you"_

 _"Fine" he held his hands up at me saying, I could have laughed "Have it your way, I'll keep out your fucking way"_

 _"He gets it" I hissed cutting her eye at him as he walked past me and out the kitchen_

 _"And I hope you can still taste the burn in your rancid food" he flung back at me just before the door slammed shut_

 _"I'm guessing I'll definitely be tasting your nasty rancid damn fingers" I yelled back at him_

 _"What's going on?" I heard Blaine ask him, I smiled walking over to my pot "You will rue the damn day you call my hair nappy Evans"_

 _ **End of Flashback**_

"Rue the damn day" she looked out the window smiling recognising the shops, watching familiar people and hearing familiar sounds for a while, wondering if she'd actually done the right thing. The very first lesson at college her tutor had told them, with a bit of a laugh, 'if it's not floating your boat get out of it, and apply that to your entire life' she'd taken those words with her through life so far and seriously she was becoming her character, she needed out "No regrets" she shivered in her seat, wondering how her life could have all been so different if she'd have chosen another path "How far away is it?" she asked Vennrick

"About another 32 hours" he smiled watching her roll her eyes "You could get the plane" he told her

"No I need the think time" she smiled

"32 hours it is then"

"I'll let you know when I need a stop" she told him, drawing the curtains to get some privacy, fallling back in the seat trying to relax, she needed to forget the past she had a future to plan. The first thing she was going to do was sleep, her favourtie thing, any second she got to get forty winks in she took it, and this road trip was the perfect opportunity to revitalise the soul

She looked out at the night falling, she'd have just finished her last rehearsal and be thinking about getting ready for the night's performance just about now, stuffing her lunch and dinner down as she sat getting made up, smiling at the fact that just now she was sitting here doing nothing with aboslutely nothing to look forward to, it was a funny but warm feeling. She finally closed her eyes, after walking through the goings on back at the theatre for the evening to find some well needed sleep, there'd be no alcohol induced sleep tonight she was falling asleep on happy.

"What time is it ?" she stretched out of her sleep asking, looking around her environment trying to make out where she was "Vennrick" she called when everything came back to her, opening the curtains to see his face "Can we stop somewhere I need to freshen up?"

"Sure" he smiled at her through his mirror

Twenty minutes later they were parking up at some roadside gas station, Vennrick got out the car and came back with a key for her to use the bathroom "Thanks" she smiled grabbing his hand as he assisted her out of the car. She made her way over to the bathroom and opened the door to find a very pink room she laughed remembering her blow out with Kurt just after she made the decision to move him into her flat, they'd only been sharing for six months

 _ **Flashback**_

 _"Kurt what the hell?" I walked into the very pink living space asking "What the hell have you done?"_

 _"Decorated" he told me, he was so smug_

 _"This isn't decorating it's slapping some spare paint on the fucking walls, badly" I screached_

 _"Mercedes" he stood stunned at her reaction "It's not left over in fact Blaine, Sam and I chose it"_

 _"The clueless fucking trio" I rolled my eyes so extra at him "I've always said, if it's anything a man would do, run it by me" I stood looking at him waiting for a response "I let you guys move in because you had taste or so I thought" I hissed "Take it down" I ordered as Kurt stood open mouthed_

 _"We all live here" he told me throwing the brush in the tray mad_

 _"Well I'm sorry I can't live in this, you'll have to get it down" my voice suddenly calmer he was upset_

 _"What's up?" Blaine walked in, took one look at Kurt's upset face and asked_

 _"Really?" I asked him looking around the half painted mess of a room_

 _"You were just moaning the oher week saying it looked tired" Blaine walked towards Kurt telling me_

 _"Tired not masculine"_

 _"Mercy that's not fair" Blaine hugged Kurt telling me "And you're bullying"_

 _"It's fair alright, I mean I could be standing here asking you guys to fucking move out"_

 _"What?" Sam screached from the doorway_

 _"I said none of your damn business" I yelled at him, I really hated the sight of this damn guy "Don't you have a girl somewhere to fuck?"_

 _"That's none of your damn business" he replied rolling his eyes, I always went past drama queen on him, I knew he was beginning to regret the day he'd talked Blaine into returning Kurt's call_

 _"You two need to learn to get on, I'm not splitting up wtih Kurt, this jealous thing you've got ..."_

 _"Jealous?" I asked, I couldn't catch her breath at Blaine's take on this situation "Why the hell would I be jealous?"_

 _"Ever since I've been with Kurt you've found anything and everything to argue about when everything else fails you pick on my friend and it's got to stop"_

 _"What has to stop is that you guys need to start living as fucking lodgers and stop painting my fucking house while I'm out, and I might add, stop bringing your damn diseased friend up in my house sitting all over my damn furniture"_

 _"Diseased?" Sam gasped "Where the fuck do you get off?" he walked up to me asking_

 _"I didnt actually get on" I stared up at him, my head swinging from left to right I had so much attitude to give him, as he stood in front of me "Don't tell me everything's melting into one for you, just keep me out of your damn fantasies"_

 _"I have never wanted to slap a female so much in all my life, you're just so fucking rude" he looked down at me saying his eyes deep green with anger or something_

 _"And I've never wanted to kick, punch and slap a fucking man so much in mine" our eyes peicing into each other as they stood neither wanting to back down_

 _"Okay" Blaine walked towards them I guess he saw that the stand off could get serious "Back down Sam" he pulled his sleeve telling him_

 _"Yeah back the fuck down Sam" I hissed jeeringly in his face, Sam stood with his lips thin and face red, I knew he was wondering how he was conrolling his hands right now, and however he was doing it he needed to carry on unless he wanted me to come out all fucking Blade on him_

 _"Mercy" Kurt called making them all look in his direction "Could we talk?"_

 _"Right after you guys get this disgusting pink paint off the damn walls" she walked off to her bedroom telling them "Oh and I'm not cooking tonight, but I'm hungry" she looked at Sam telling everyone_

 _"Take no notice she's due her monthly cycle" Kurt told Blaine and Sam "Sam you going to cook while Blaine and I cover this up?"_

 _"So what she comes through blasts us all and gets away with it and dinner's thrown in?" Sam asked his voice shocked that everything had more or less gone back to normal_

 _"No but she blows and when she comes out she'll be fine again, you get to know her" Blaine smiled at him_

 _"If you ask me she's on a constant fucking cycle, she's got to be the most irritating woman ever, she gets under my damn skin every time, no matter how prepared I am" Sam told them_

 _"That's why she's my best friend, she's complicated" Kurt smiled "She'll probably choose pink in the end, watch this space" he laughed watching Blaine nodding his head knowingly_

 _ **End of Flashback**_

"And I did" she laughed "That exct same pink to be precise" she smiled for the conversation the guys had about her when they thought she'd left the room. She looked up in the mirror as she washed her hands "All that was a lifetime ago" she told her not so older self, she could see she was tired, maybe more than she'd originally thought she was, all those nights at the theatre had taken a lot out of her. She scooped water in her hands and threw it over her face, tyring to get some of her youth back, frowning when the dark cicles under her eyes were still visible and her inside and ouside reflected the same feeling "Come on this is a good move" she told herself with a smile, which didn't work "Food" she put her hands under the dryer and stood watching them dry before she realised she hadn't really used the bathroom and went about the task, smiling at having learned to hold herself until the end of a scene "There are no scenes" she told herself suddenly feeling like she was actually acting this part of her life

"Everything alright Mercedes?" Vennrick asked when she walked back to the car

"Yeah fine" she looked around her environment "I'm hungry but I dont fancy anything around here"

"We'll be in Arizona in about twenty minutes"

"Yeah I could do with really stretching my feet, and I guess you need a rest"

"That would be good" Vennrick smiled as he shut the door behind her and got in to drive

Mercy sat watching the tree lined roads go by as the day broke out in the sky, shades of orange, blue and yellow forming in the horizon as the car sped towards it "You can have the day Venn, I'll find something to entertain myself" she looked at the road passing them by telling him

"I'll maybe take half a day" he looked in his rear view mirror telling her "We're on a timer remember"

"I really didn't want to get back for Church Venn, it's not me right now" she laughed "I need to do a whole heap of apologising and grovelling before my ass finds that doorstep"

"I can't even imagine you ever needing to do that, but whatever you say" he laughed

"There were a lot of people in that sleepy little town I didn't let love me"

"They love you Mercedes, no matter how difficult you made it, there's nothing about you not to love"

"I wish I had your faith" she smiled at him in his mirror, they drove in silence until they came to a stop outside the Fairfield Inn "This will do nicely" she looked up at the hotel as she waited for Vennrick to open her door "I might grab a few hours myself"

"How about you call me when you're ready"

"That's fine" she smiled I guess it's just as cheap to get a double suite, book us in" she smiled giving him her card

She walked into the hotel smiling, it brought back memories of her entering that theatre for the very first time, a naive, prudish 21 year old, that knew nothing about the world outside of Lima, who thought the world should revovlve around her and her damn mouth. She'd read in so many magazine's and watched so many talk shows were those that had made it had the rudest manners, and that was who she wanted to be, where she needed to be, she giggled as she remembered her first day at work

 _ **Flashback**_

 _"Mer-ce-des Jones" a tall blond headed man called my name with such an French accent I wondered if he was talking to me "Mer-ce-des Jones" he repeated_

 _"Yes that's me" I raised my hand saying when I heard some familiarities to my name in there, in Lima I'd made sure she was the biggest thing since bread, never mind the sliced type but at that moment in that theatre I felt overpowered, there were people much older than me, faces I recognised from the screen, I sat looking around thinking these people were expecting me to give my all, my very best, I couldn't stand up right now and tell them that I didn't even know what that was at that point._

 _"Your playing Aretha?" he looked me up and down his face showing disbelief "I guess if they think you're up to it" he raised an eyebrow at me, I suddenly felt inferior stood there dressed in my usual casual jeans, crushed blouse and over jacket with my lucky tartan cap leaned across my banging blond and brown weave. Beyonce had just rocked that colour and I was going to be the next big thing since that woman, and while I was at it Mariah, Whitney and Diana could step aside too_

 _"Yes I am" I smiled at the rather cold, ginger headed man_

 _Just a little after that the cast got to talking, breaking the ice and just checking in with each other, there were three people for every major role in the place which meant there were three Aretha's one woman older and a like aged double with me, we were sat talking about their take on the life of Aretha and their vision for the part when a voice interrupted us "We're going to sing_ _ **Aretha Franklin's 'Aint No Way'**_ _together" a shy looking girl about my age smiled right up in my face "Well actually not together I'm just doing the Cissy Houston part you know?"_

 _"Yeah I Know it" I smiled "And that does mean we're going to be singing together"_

 _"This is my first show and believe me when I say bricks are passing as we speak" she giggled warming my heart with her genuine smile "He seems so cold don't you think?" she looked back at Marty saying_

 _"That was my word for him too, we must be right" the two of us stood laughing and just like that we clicked_

 _ **End of Flashback**_

Mercy remembered Chantel with fondness, they'd spent three great years together dragged each other through some rough times and had plenty of laughs on the way, she was going to miss her of everything and everyone she'd left behind maybe her the most

"Check outs at midnight its room 220" Vennrick invaded her thoughts saying "Are you alright?" he asked when he saw the vacant look in her face

"Yeah, it's just sinking in that I left my job" she smiled

"Regrets?"

"I sort of promised myself there'd be none of that regret stuff"

"Here grab the key I'll get the bags out the car" he handed the keys to her and made for the exit they'd just come in to grab their bags, less than an hour later he was fast asleep in his room, he'd been driving for nearly eight hours straight.

Mercy grabbed a hot bath, got changed and went to find out what was beyond the hotel doors in Arizona, she checked her mobile for events or entertainment nearby and decided she was going to take something in at the local Science Centre. She'd just missed the afternoon walk around by twenty minutes and try as she might she couldn't get the guard to let her in to catch up, she ended up spending the afternoon with the guard talking about intergalactial spacestations and avatars, he was trying to convince her they really didn't exist, she was giving him her logic. Eventually he gave in and agreed she had a good argument, she breathed on her hand and rubbed her chest pleased with herself, when he admitted defeat and gave her a ticket for access next time she was in the area. It was early evening before she realised she was hungry, she found herself something to eat before she made her way back to the hotel, 4 hours later they were back on the road.

Mercy hadn't felt tired all day, but now the night was coming in again and all the roads seemed to melt into one, she could do with a nap "I'm going to shut my eyes for a minute" she told Vennrick closing the curtains again for privacy. Remembering she'd promised, she took her phone out and called her Mom, she spoke to her regularly but right now, with quiet enough to reflect, she was having second thoughts about her choice "Mom" she smiled at the voice of reason on the other side of the line

"Cedes where are you?"

"I'm on my way, I told you I was driving down well, Venn was driving me down" she rolled her eyes telling her Mom

"You know I worry"

"I know Mom, I was just feeling sorry for my jobless self and needed to hear your voice"

"The voice of reason" her Mom laughed

"You know that, right?" Mercy giggled "Did I do the right thing?"

"You did, I feel it in my bones" she laughed

"Nothing against you or even Lima but I'm not looking forward to coming back, because of the way I left things with ..."

"I told you, you might see Kurt, if you're lucky and he'd be passing through, everyone else went and didn't look back, just like they said they wouldn't"

"What about Rachel?"

"That girl left the day after she finished school, her parents followed her they couldn't wait to get out of here, her parents don't even phone let alone visit" her Mom laughed

"I guess"

"You guess, you know"

"So, how are you?" Mercy asked her Mom, changing the subject, she didn't need to remember that girl who slept with her boyfriend behind her back and aborted his baby. There were other things on her mind as she asked the question, it had been a hard nearly four years since her Dad had died, that made it even harder to leave the sleppy town, knowing her Mom was going to be all alone but she'd insisted that her daugher ceased every opportunity and that's what she was doing for herself as well as her Father who had gone way too soon

"I'm fine" she giggled "I've been stepping out with Dean a fair bit"

"Who, Mr Tinsley?"

"Yes"

"Good on you" Mercy grinned, at last her Mom was making friends "I guess I'll be a bit of a third wheel when I get there" she laughed

"You'll never be a third anything, you're right up there my number one girl"

"I know that, but he might become your number one man"

"I dont think we'll go that far, it's for companionship more than anything else, for both of us"

"We'll see" Mercy smirked

"Child" her Mom said shyly "Anyway were are you again?"

"Arizona just getting through, we've got about another one thousand miles to go, and I plan on plenty of stops"

"You go ahead and do your favourite thing" she laughed "And be safe"

"I will" Mercy smiled for the concern from her Mom, she'd been out on her own for nearly six years now and her Mom was still treating her like a 17 year old. knowing her Mom, her coming home was going to be another reason to get all the family together, like she always did, for the massive party in the garden, only this time she wasn't destined to leave twenty four hours later, her mind went back to the impromptu family gathering at her flat all those years ago when she went ballistic yet again, she laughed wondering if there was ever a time she didn't go way past diva back then

 _ **Flashback**_

 _I'd just done some baking, all my wares were sitting on the kitchen counter cooling, of course I'd had my hot one, that was always my treat for taking the time to bake, I remember I was sat watching reruns of Snowfall when the door opened "Hi Guys" I smiled without even looking up "I thought you'd be back later"_

 _"They will" Santana replied, my head spun round fast for the unexpected voice_

 _"Santana" I frowned puzzled and surprised at the unexpected visitor "What are you... who gave you a key?" I got up asking realising she'd just walked into my place_

 _"I got it off Sam, he said you guys were away, I was in town needed somewhere to crash, Mom and Dad's is bursting at the seams, and this was the obvious choice"_

 _"Why didn't you stay at Sam's?" I asked already pissed at the guy, he could have at least called and asked_

 _"He's got my older cousins and their parents, It's a sort of a family reunion thing for Gramps memorial tomorrow"_

 _"So what's wrong with the hotel?"_

 _"What about an hello?" Santana finally got to me asking_

 _"What about some notice?" I took her hug asking rolling my eyes at her balls "Hello" I smiled when we came out of the hug "Who are these people?" I looked up at the door, horrified at the army marching in_

 _"We didn't think there was anyone here we were going to crash all over the place" Santana told me looking back at her family walking into the house "This is my brother Pablo..." everything went into mist as the names were fired at me like I was supposed to rememebr these random people "Anything to eat or do we need to order in?" she walked off towards the kitchen asking_

 _"You're ordering in" I told her a laugh in my voice, but it was a sarcastic one, I sucked my breath through my teeth when I looked at my couch as saw there was nowhere there for me to sit back down, to make it worse at last count there were twelve people in my apartment they were still coming in, and some of those had babies attached to their chests "And I'm sorry but I'm not giving my room up"_

 _"Yasmin and I can squeeze in with you" Santana announced while I stood watching her as she took her phone out to order the food "And if you need the bathroom I suggest you get in now before these guys start" I jumped; no I under exaggerate, I flew up, grabbed her things from my bedroom and found the bathroom as suggested. I sat in the bath seathing, Santana was such a bitch for assuming she could just rock her whole damn family up in her place and everyone would be fine with that, I grabbed her phone to call Kurt and Blaine, maybe she'd cleared this with them_

 _"Mercedes" Kurt answered "What's up?"_

 _"Did you get a call about Santana?" I asked_

 _"What's happened to Santana?"_

 _"So you didn't get a call?"_

 _"No, what's happened?"_

 _"Oh nothing" I blew out, knowing Kurt was rolling his eyes at me and that I'd have to deal with this shit "Just had her whole generation rock up to sleep in our appartment tonight"_

 _"No" Kurt gapsed_

 _"Joke right?" Blaine asked_

 _"No joke I'm in the bathroom right now because she told me to grab the damn chance before her kin took over the whole damn place"_

 _"I know this doesn't help you right now, but they better be gone by the time I get back, or all hell will be let loose" Kurt told me, piling the pressure on_

 _"Did I mention there are babies"_

 _"On my fucking antique persian rug?" Blaine shouted "Get them out of there"_

 _"Or roll it up, Santana's family, just roll it up Mercedes" Kurt suggested_

 _"Hell if my couches are getting it, you can rest a fucking ssured your rugs getting it" I spat for the cheek_

 _"That's not fair, we didnt ask for this" Blaine blurted out like a spoilt school child_

 _"But I know a damn man that did" I was so angry I slammed the phone down, I knew who was taking the rap and paying the bill for all this damage "Sam" I howled down the phone as soon as he answered it_

 _"Don't just don't" he hissed back at me, he was ready for this fight "I know you're going to make all this shit my fault somehow, but your fucking cheeky friend stole the fucking key from my bunch, she barged into my fucking place, and left half of Spain and I think maybe some of Africa in my fucking apartment, she doesn't even fucking know me like that, I'm litterally sitting on my balcony, it's the only seat left in my fucking apartment"_

 _"I really don't want to hear your problems Evans, at least you still have fucking balcony space, I'm literally in the damn bath, I need these fucking people out my damn apartment pronto"_

 _"If I could get them out of mine I'd have a clue for how to make that happen"_

 _"Get a clue because no way am I sharing my bed with these people"_

 _"I have no answers Mercedes"_

 _"I didn't ask a question Evans, I gave an order"_

 _"What!" I knew he'd looked at his phone wanting to grab my head through it and stamp some manners into it with his fists and feet, I wanted to giggle but I was in a damn zone_

 _"You have problems following orders?" I rolled my eyes, this man was going to send me onto the fucking roof_

 _"Just the ones that come from cheeky bitchs like you"_

 _"So now I'm that bitch again, are you waiting for me to say thank you or something?"_

 _"No, I think that's my cue to say fuck you"_

 _"I guess you wished you could, you know, if I'd thought you'd be any good at it I might have given you the pleasure, but somehow I know I'd be wasting my damn time" I hissed slamming the phone down before he could reply, I was so mad I jumped out the bath and grabbed my robe, put it on and just about tied it up before walking out into my sitting room "And Santana you know I love you, but this" I looked around at the nearing twenty bodies scattered around the room laying everywhere "Is unacceptable, you need to get your finger out like all the rest of your damn family and book a hotel, I can't accommodate you guys"_

 _"It's one night" Santana stood looking at me smiling, like we were still in school and she was asking for my study notes_

 _"It's one night too many, sorry"_

 _"What are we going to do?"_

 _"Santana, if it was you and a couple of family members, I'd have no problem, but girl you rock up with twenty and expect everyone to just roll over, I mean surely you guys knew this was happening for your family, you should have planned better, sorry but you guys have got to go" I looked around the flat already noticing the dirt mark on Blaine's rug "Blaine is going to want blood for his rug" I told her, Santana looked round at the rug_

 _"Sorry about that" she smiled "I thought you'd still be the same easy going Mercedes from school"_

 _"Sorry not her, not anymore, and definitely not for a while now"_

 _"Come on guys I guess it's the hotel afterall" Santana told her family as they got up to make the short journey, hugging me as she left "Oh and sorry about finishing your cakes" she rubbed in, I wanted to scream all sorts of bitch's at her, but I took them leaving as an alternative happy ending and left it right there_

 _"Bye" I waved as the last person rounded the corner down the stairs, closing the door and leaning on it with relief as I heard their chattering fade_

 _ **End of Flashback**_

"Sorry Mom daydreaming again, I seem to be doing a lot of that lately" she smiled into the phone

"Are you alright?" she asked her daughter

"Yes I'm fine, bye Mom"

"Bye sweetheart" and the call was finished

"Sleep" Mercy put the phone on charge, grabbed her travel pillow and pulled the throw across her, it was warm enough in the car and getting warmer, it seemed like Vennrick was helping her get that well needed sleep she needed, it wasn't long before her eyes were closed


	2. Chapter 2

Eight hours later she woke up to daylight, remembering a bit quicker today where she was "What time is it Venn?" she pulled the curtains open asking

"Breakfast time" he looked in the mirror telling her "And then some sleep for me"

"Where are we?"

"New Mexico"

"Hotel, breakfast and then you can get some sleep" she smiled

"Let me guess, you'll amuse yourself?"

"Good guess" she giggled "See we already have a routine going"

They pulled up five minutes later at the Hotel Parg the wall lights just about fading out as they approached, Vennrick booking in as Mercy played with her phone trying to work out what she needed to door see the most in this temporary home for the day.

"Room 608" Vennrick threw the keys at her saying

"Bags?" she smiled at him grabbing the keys "Routine" she giggled

The bags were in the suite, Mercy sat on the balcony taking in the fresh morning air it was only 6am or there about, but the streets below were getting busy already with worker's traders and children doing errands before school. She was sitting wishing she had someone to share her current feelings with, she'd managed to isolate nearly evryone from her past with some inapproriate conversation, action or just plain bad attitude, now she was going home, it was still that but she'd made it a very lonely place to want to be.

"Bathrooms free" Vennrick shouted as he made his way to his bedroom "See you in a while, enjoy your day"

"Later" she smiled as she watched him walk past with his towel wrapped around his waist and water dripping from his head like sweat "careful I might jump you" she laughed

"If that was ever going to happen, I'm sure we'd have gone there way before now" he laughed

"I guess you're telling me I'm predictable?" she got up and walked towards him

"Very Miss Jones" she smiled "And I know every damn trick you have so..." he walked away from her laughing "Good morning" he opened his bedroom door, turned to smile at her and closed it after him

He wasn't lying, she was a regular bitch with men, she hadn't found time for a lot of things in her climb to the top and had been all too weary of the men she'd met along the way. She'd made sure she got what she needed from every man she'd ever come into contact with but when she was done, she was actually done, and she wasn't scared to tell them just that, her actually words might have been _'Now get the fuck out'_. She didn't care what they thought about her, her heart; she'd known at a tender age, was fragile, she held onto shit for a lifetime, knowing that wasn't a good look but that was her MO, so none of them were getting in, plus t wasn't in her plans

She eventually turned to grab her things and found the bathroom and sat in the bath letting the water run over her singing her three year evolved verson of **Aretha Franklin's 'At Last'** pretending she was back on stage reliving that audience appreciation as she delivered the song with gusto, an hour later she was dry, dressed and still checking her phone for something to do "Four hours and that looks like fun" she smiled tapping directions in her maps app to get to one of the many balloon rides, maybe seeing the world from above would give her some devine intervention and her life might be mapped out by the time her feet hit the ground agan.

She took the ride, came down and everything was just as she'd left it, she walked around the town finally bartering for some sandles she really didnt need, smiling as she won her prize and took them back for Vennrick as a present, they had dinner together in the suite that evening before they packed their belongings in their small cases and hit the road again. It had been a long and maybe too relaxing day for Mercy she stayed awake listening to Vennrick's tunes for a while but by 11pm she was exhausted she fell asleep watching the lights on the dark lonely road flash by like sheep, Vennrick drew the curtains when he realised she'd fell asleep.

Less than five hundred miles closer to home she woke up smiling "Morning Venn" her voice perky

"Someone's had a good rest"

"I think I'm just coming to terms with the changes I made for myself" she smiled "I need..."

"The bathroom, I know" he pulled in almost immediately after finishing off her sentance "I'm getting better with that routine thing" he smiled jumping out the car as it came to a standstill to let her out before he ran to get the key for her

"Thank you" she smiled taking the key to find her way to the bathroom, she stepped in and looked in the near clean mirror "I could do with a man today" she told herself "But no chance with Venn, he's way too old and Doreen would kill me" she frowned at herself. Doreen had played the chaperon for two of the three years, she was much older than the rest of the cast and tended to play mother a hell of a lot to people that really didnt need it, but she was sweet with it too bringing in cakes, taking the younger ones out for safe nights out and stuff and by the end of the second year she had actually became Mom to a lot of the cast. Affectionately known as Auntie Reen, Vennrick had automaitcally taken up the role of Uncle Venn and quickly became a listening ear for the guys with all their falling in love drama, much of which Chantel and her had caused.

She quickly freshened up and left the bathroom, there was a sudden urgency to get home, she needed to get to her bedroom, get some phone numbers and make amends with some freinds well one specifically "We need to stop again yeah?" she asked Venn as she got closer to the car "I wouldn't want you falling asleep at the wheel"

"You're getting lonely aren't you?" he asked as she walked past him to get into the car

"I think it's more scared, I have no future" she stopped to look up at him saying

"You'll be fine sweet" he grabbed her to him and gave her what he felt was a much needed hug

"Everyone keeps telling me that but..."

"There are no buts in our world remember what Reen said"

"I do" she giggled hearing the woman telling her _"Your butt is way too big for you to have to alert anyone to the fact that it's there, stop it, stop with the self doubt"_

"Come on just another 600 miles left to go after this, we'll do that in about a day and a half" he pulled her off him and turned her to get in the car "Oklahoma" he told her questioning eyes "We'll go grab a proper meal tonight"

"I'd like that" she smiled getting back in the car for the short journey to the Abassidor Hotel checking in before they did the usual thing and Mercy went out to buy something presentable for their evening meal, it took a few hours but she finally wondered into a side street and found the prefect little boutique, coming out with a black satin lined lace dress that floated down her body and flowed like a river just below her calves, she smiled as she added the well placed pearls around her neck, liked the look and didn't even try to talk herself out of buying the whole look.

She went back to the hotel, booked her pamper, massage, salon and nail time, then sat around drinking, laughing and singing with the women in the place "What time's your meal?" the hairdresser asked

"You know, I didn't ask" she laughed a bit worse for the glasses of wine she'd taken in "He's like my Uncle, it's not even a date, he's married to my Aunt and well... he's cheering me up I guess" she looked around sadly "I just finished my job after three years and I'm feeling sorry for myself"

"If you've finished by 9pm you should come down to the Tilsa watch our classic rendition of Oklahoma"

"Sounds like fun" Mercy smiled rubbing her hands together, it would be nice to see things from the other side after all this time

She finally got back to the hotel swaying all over the place, Vennrick put her to bed and let her sleep it off for about four hours, she woke up herself holding her head for the rock "Serves you right" he laughed watching her trying to stagger across to the bathroom

"What time's dinner?"

"If there's something availale at 8pm we'll catch it" he replied

"I'll just..." she pointed to the bathroom almost falling through the door, she came out turbo-shower awake

"Powerful isnt it?" he laughed

"Nearly as powerful as my voice" she laughed hurrying across the room to get ready for dinner, she was ready in minutes

She faked her way through dinner barely keeping up with the conversation, at one point her head shot up she was sure he was sitting there cussing her, but the smile on his face said somethig different so she didn't challenge it "Are you ready for off?" he asked as he paid the bill

"I wanted to go see Oklahoma at the Tilas if that was alright?" she smiled

"You sure you're up for it?"

"I can always do theatre Venn, you know that" she laughed, they finished up and she went as promised to see the show, three hours later and a couple more bottles of wine, they were back on the road. Vennrick had almost lifted her into the car and covered her with her throw, before he closed her curtains, smiling at her finally letting go of her life in LA as he jumped in the drivers seat and took her closer to home.

Mercy lay smiling with herself it had been a while since she'd been absoultely wasted and not cared about it until the next day like this, only difference being, was she even going to care about it tomorrow, she cringed as she remembered the first time she'd actually cared about getting drunk the night before

 _ **Flashback**_

 _"Pass the punch" Kurt waved his hand at me impatiently saying "Hurry up Merc, anyone would think you wanted me to be sober"_

 _"It's coming" I drunk giggled "I can't think of a single reason I'd want you sober" I smirked at him_

 _We'd been having a blow out, I'd been turned down yet again at another audition, Blaine's deal with MGM was looking like it wasn't going to happen and Kurt seemed to be holding Blaine's depression he didnt need a reason, he just grabbed the fruit and the next thing we knew there was punch flowing "Lets get wasted" he walked into the room with thee glasses saying everyone was up for it_

 _With none of us being drinkers it didn't take much for us to get to rat-arsed stage, less than an hour later we were laughing at nothing, falling all over the place, and swearing uncontrolably at each other "Who's that?" Kurt's mind finally came back into the room as we sat trying to control the whirlpool in our heads_

 _"Hold up, I can actually see through doors" I laughed "It's Sam" I rolled my eyes, for some reason already pissed off_

 _"Sam" Blaine got up to answer the door like a love sick kid that was ready to throw up "Sam come in" he finally said smiling as he stood back to let him in "We're drowning some sorrows"_

 _"Yeah I see that" Sam laughed grabbing hold of him to stop him falling back into the room_

 _"Join the party" Kurt held his glass up at him saying "Grab a glass and come try our punch"_

 _I was sat thinking I could just give him a damn punch, why did this man always seem to turn us just when I'd decided I was going to have some fun with my friends "Mercedes" he nodded as he walked past me_

 _"Sam" I cut her eye at him in reply, I watched him grab a glass while Kurt poured us all another shot including him this time_

 _"This is leathal" he pulled the glass away from his lips telling us "But nice" he smiled taking another sip_

 _It wasn't actually clear to me when the party actually got started, all I actually remembered was that_ **'Colour' by MNEK & Hailee Steinfeld **_was playing and we were all dancing around at it, Id danced with each guy as we passed each other around and for whatever reason when it came to Sam and me dancing it was my turn to sing_ _ **"I never thought that I would meet anybody who knows my body, how you know my body..."**_ _and suddenly we were singing a duet, this guy I didn't have the time of day for and me were actually singing together_

 _ **"Everything is brighter cause the limit is the sky, baby, that's the way you make me feel..."**_ _he sang, we were looking at each other because we were singing but I knew in my heart I meant not a word I was singing, but I was happy about the sound we made together, I could work with that_

 _After that we seemed to stay together maybe it was because Blaine and Kurt were in their own little world of being drunk, in love and obviously thinking sex, leaving the two of us to their own devices as usual but there was no arguing, it was a strange feeling. Sam was way past drunk trying to pretend he was three thirds sober, and I couldn't stop giggling at everything and nothing_

 _"What you giggling at?" Sam's red eyes looked up at yet another one of my sudden outburst, he was sat opposite me, we'd found some common ground in Sci fi and were engrossed in sorting out the seventh wonder of the universe_

 _"Nothing" I chuckled_

 _"What have I got on me?" he looked around himself_

 _"No it's me, I'm drunk and I'm actually sitting here talking to you"_

 _"I know somethings wrong yeah?"_

 _"Alcohol" I smiled "We need to have it everytime you walk into the room"_

 _"I couldn't do that I have to work" he laughed_

 _"Could you..." I pulled his shirt to me, surprised he moved easily towards me, I looked at his lips telling him without words I wanted on, he looked at mine they were glossy, open and waiting, our eyes met again, we both knew we were giving concent and our lips met, once, twice, three times before they finally locked together and we were full on making out "Sorry" I finally pulled way saying_

 _"Sorry I..." he pulled away saying at the same time_

 _"It's the drink" I _smiled "chalk it up as a really bad trip" I put her glass down telling him, rubbing my itchy hands down my thighs before grabbing his face again for more, he pulled me into him hard, not caring that Blaine an Kurt sat watching us__

 _"Finally" Kurt hissed making the two of us jump out of the kiss_

 _"What?" he seemed to have kissed me sober_

 _"You two" he huffed "For how many years there's been this tension between you, and that's the reason why"_

 _"No it isn't" I told him getting up_

 _"It's definitely the drink" Sam added "We have nothing in common honestly" the look he gave Blaine begging him to stop the conversation, this was awkward enough as it was_

 _"We won't even remember any of this tomorrow" I smiled, blushing as my eyes fell on Sam again, I was wrong, I remembered everything the next day, some of it in graphic detail. I remembered how his arms felt around me, how safe he made me feel, how his lips were like soft pillows caressing my lips, how the feeling had sent my mind spinning faster than the alcohol I'd been drinking all night, how my body tingled at his touch and how much I instantly need that feeling back again_

 _After that we had more than a few more alcohol induced kisses, but we always had to get that far before we'd admit there was a feeling there and then none of us actually admitted the feeling "Why do you guys always get drunk?" Blaine asked one night_

 _"It's better than feeling sober sometimes, you can let go you know?" Sam replied_

 _"Yeah let go" I smiled "I'm not going to get very many opportunities to actually let go when I make it"_

 _ **End of Flashback**_

"I let go of you though" she turned on the seat and pulled the throw high over her shoulder, life was getting colder the closer she moved to home, she already felt lonely, she lay humming **'Natural Woman' by Aretha Franklin** until she fell asleep

She woke up to Al Green playing on the radio "Morning" she smiled as she opened the curtains to see Vennrick smiling

"At last" he smiled "I thought you were going to do the full 24 hours"

"Why how long have I been sleeping?"

"I'd say about thirteen hours, I stopped a couple of times to check you and you didn't even stir" he laughed

"You must be wacked"

"I had a couple stretches, coffee and even a shower" he laughed "But I could do with a bed"

"Sorry Venn" she looked around for her shoes "Do you want me to drive for a bit?"

"No way, I can make it to a hotel I'm sure" he laughed

"Where are we?"

"About 6 miles from indiana"

"You've done nearly 800 miles in a night"

"Times changed, but it feels more like nearly a day" he laughed "This will be the last stop before home"

"How many miles left?"

"Only about another 250, I could do that now if you want"

"No you need your rest, Aunt Reen would surely slap the black off me" she smiled "As long as I miss church in the morning"

"I'll try my best to get you there" he laughed "God knows you need it, we all do"

"You'll sleep more than four hours" she laughed

"Maybe I will" he looked up at the Drury Inn and Suites Hotel as they approached

"Why don't we break the habit of a lifetime and bring the bags in now" she smiled

"I thought routine was important?"

"I guess it was when I was working" she giggled as they grabbed the bags out and went into the hotel

"We're in suite 516" Vennrick told her grabbing the bags and making his way to the elevators "Usual, enjoy" he said droping the bags and heading stright for the bedroom

Mercy sat thinking empty, and this was exactly how she felt that last Thanksgiving before she left for LA, her Dad had not long passed, her Mom wasn't having a very good time of it, neither was she to be honest, her head wasn't in the right place to be thinking about leaving. It had been planned months in advance that Thanksgiving evening was going to be spent at Sam's place Quinn and Rachel were coming down and he had the space for them, but then all this happened for her and she wanted everything to change to accommodate her

 _ **Flashback**_

 _"So you want us to move everything from Sam's after weeks of preparation back here?" Blaine sat rubbing his forehead asking "Mercedes you've been fucked up most of the time we've been here and we've put up with it because you're Kurt's bestie and everything but this stops now" he stood up at me saying_

 _"You dont undestand what I've been through" I jumped up at him saying_

 _"Do you think?" he asked as Kurt stood up, I could tell he was thinking he needed to stop his boyfreind from verbally attacking his friend "Don't even go there" Blaine looked at him hissing "If she thinks I'm going to do this to my friend she can think again, and you" he turned to Kurt saying "Can stay with her or come with me, that's totally up to you"_

 _"How did this become our argument?" Kurt asked stunned at Blaine's altimatum_

 _"Go with him" I told my friend_

 _"Mercy I..."_

 _"Just go with him" I fanned him off "I'd prefer to be alone anyway" I smiled my arm crossed at my chest as I spoke "I need to get used to being alone anyway, this time next week I'll be in LA"_

 _"I'm not choosing between you two" he looked at us both saying_

 _"I need you to choose him every time" I told him "He loves you"_

 _"And I love him, and you" Kurt told me coming in for a hug_

 _"And I love you guys, I know I don't show it but I do" we stood smiling at each other before he walked over to Blaine, took his hand and went off to Sam's_

 _I collapsed in the couch and cried, it seemed that was what I'd needed to do for the longest time everything was built up and stuck, there was so much I was bottling up inside, a lot of it I dare not let out. I didnt know how long I'd lay on the couch or even how much of that time was used for crying, but I suddenly felt someone in the room with me and lookd up to see Sam standing there_

 _"I was ringing the bell and knocking the door I didnt get an answer and I knew you were in, I was worried" he stooped down in front of my face as he spoke "What's the matter, you've been crying"_

 _"I guess it's my Dad, moving away, leaving my Mom, home, freinds it's all getting so real"_

 _"I know how that feels I'm off to New York tomorrow"_

 _"The male model" I smiled sitting up as he filled the space I'd made beside me_

 _"Yeah" he smiled looking at me for a while "And I know all we do is argue unless we're drunk, but I will miss you dissing me every day"_

 _"I'll actually miss dissing you" I laughed_

 _"I came over for a reason" he raked his hand through his hair telling me "To wish you the very best in life and tell you, serously and I know what you're going to say" he held his hands up at her to stop her talking "But you can't take that attitude with you to LA, I put up with it but it's not cool seriously, it's spoilt brat and nobody likes working with those including you"_

 _"I know you speak the truth but you just get right under my damn skin every time" I laughed_

 _"And for the record, I don't sleep around, I never have, all those imaginary girls you keep on about exist in your head"_

 _"But I see you with them"_

 _"Correction you see them with me, I didn't say they don't talk, of course they do, and I'm not rude dispite what you bring out in me, I politely talk back" he giggled_

 _"And so my advice to you is keep it that way, always be true to yourself Sam Evans, that's a rough business you've chosen for yourself, it will ask you to compromise your morals every damn day, keep the faith"_

 _"Talking of faith it's my last day tomorrow come to church, lets do a jam, we'll never get the chance again?" he put his arm around me and hugged me to him asking, since that impromptu drunken fest nearly a year back we'd taken to singing at church, it had mainly been me and Kurt in the past but Blaine and Sam had joined in now and we had fun for a change_

 _"Okay" I smiled_

 _"I wish we could have been friends all this time" he rested his chin on top of my head saying_

 _"Talking of friends Quinn and Rachel they still together?"_

 _"Very much so" he replied "You should come say hello, I'll walk you back later"_

 _"They're your friends, are you sure you want to unleash me onto them?" my head popped up to look at him a smile on my face_

 _"Positive" he looked into my eyes telling me, I couldn't help myself even if I'd have wanted to, I reached in and grabbed his lips with mine, devouring what felt like his soul as I took from him even breath, my need to have just a piece of him, so urgent it scared me "Sorry" he pulled away unsure where that kiss was taking him_

 _"It's fine" I smiled fighting the urge to make this into something it wasn't, he'd just told me he was leaving in the morning "I'll take that as you're going to miss my ass" I giggled making light_

 _"I am that" he stood up telling me "Come on, get dressed and let's go" he stood rubbing his hands together anything for them not to touch me again, I was aware he watched me walk into my bedroom, but all I wanted was for him to touch me again_

 _We spent the evening at his apartment it was good to see Rachel and Quinn again, they were only there overnight, we had a good chat, sung a couple of songs for old times sake and once they went to bed Blaine and I helped Sam clean up, Kurt had been put to bed in his drunken stooper "Let's get you home" Sam finally threw the dish towel down and grabbed his jacket telling me_

 _"I'm fine right here actually" I smiled at him_

 _"I can't have you sleeping on the couch, you can have my bed"_

 _"No seriously I'm fine, I didn't bring any night stuff, I'll be alright falling here and I'll probably be gone by the time anyone wakes up in the morning"_

 _"You promised me church remember"_

 _"I'll come back with breakfast ready for church"_

 _"I'm not happy with you walking alone that time in the morning, just stay, or let me walk you home"_

 _"I'll cook breakfast here then"_

 _"Okay but I insist you take the bed"_

 _"Okay I'll make you happy and take the damn bed" I smiled getting up and walking over to his room, I'd shut the door before he could say anything else_

 _It must have been half an hour later I lay in bed thinking things I had no business thinking when the door queitly creeked open, my head pooped up to see what was going on "Sorry I thought you'd be sleeping, I need to get my night stuff, I usually go comando and I don't think everyone wants to see that first thing"_

 _"Come talk to me I'm still awake" I laughed "I need to hear more about this commander" I giggled inside_

 _"That's comando" he laughed I could feel the heat rising in me as I watched him move towards his cabinet and opened a draw "Comando" he laughed waving some pyjama bottoms at me "I'll just..." he pointed to the bathroom before walking into it "In a second" he popped his head back out saying. I lay with my head in the palm of her hand waiting for him to reappear._

 _He came out and sat on th edge of the bed as far away from me as he felt he could be right now, I looked intensly at his rippling muscles, that was never something I'd actually ever took the time to look at before, he had a good body "Sorry" I smiled when I noticed he was sitting watching me look at his body_

 _"I can put a top on if it's distracting, it's just so hot"_

 _"It's fine" I smiled feeling the blush flush up my body, my blood was at boiling point, shy had disappeared, reputation out the window and I couldn't for the life of me remember the other thing I needed to think about before taking this next step I was thinking about, I watched him licking his lips, he was coming in and maybe if I waited for him to make his move I wouldn't seem so desperate_

 _"I want to..." he started in_

 _Both their heads turned as his bedroom door burst open "Sorry I thought you were out taking Mercedes back, I need an extra blanket" Blaine told them walking through the room as they sat watching him_

 _"I better go before we do something that's not really best for us right now" Sam smiled "Goodnight"_

 _"Goodnight" I smiled with disappointment, turning my back as Blaine and he had some conversaton and I heard the door shut behind them still talking_

 _I feel asleep that night talking or should we say singing very loudly, my way out of that mess I was bursting to make **"Got to find me an angel, to fly away with me, got to find me an angel, ooh and set me free, my heart is without a whole, I don't want to be in love, I got to find me an angel in my life, in my life"** I cried myself to sleep before I finished it _**'Angel' by Aretha Franklin**

 _She woke up the next morning made breakfast and went home to get ready for church, they sang thier song together hugged at the airport and Sam left for New York, sending her a text four days later when it was her turn to leave Lima, he wasn't enjoying himself_

 _ **End of Flashback**_

"Missed opportunities" she smiled grabbing her things to have a long bath and think of something to do for the day, or even with the rest of her life. Eventually she got dressed and ventrued out to see what there was to do in Notra Dame, finding a beautiful little sanctury at the Univerisity she walked into the most sereen place, there were a few benches dotted around she found one and sat in this think place

She sat for a while before she realised she was hungry and moved off in search of food, she found a quaint little resturant near the busy shopping mall and was sat eating when a lightbulb moment happened for her, she was getting together a plan, she sat scribbling her thoughts down, knowing that her old life was well and truely over and this was going to be a new chapter for her, her focus was going to be completely different

Making her way back to the hotel late afternoon "Good Evening" Vennrick smiled as she opened the door to their suite "I knew you didn't want to go to church, but you do want to go home yeah?"

"Yeah" she laughed "I was trying to draw up a plan for my life, it takes time"

"I know that, and you know you need to allow for the unforseeable"

"When I make a plan I usually stick to it" she replied

"Focused I like it" he laughed "Go freshen up and we'll grab something to eat before we get off"

They found something to eat in the resturant attached to the hotel and three hours later they checked out, threw everything in the car and made the final part of their road trip to Lima

"So" Vennrick looked in his rear veiw mirror asking "Why the exodus, truthfully?"

"I need to spend some time with my Mom, I think better when I'm in familar surroundings and ... to be frank I miss it"

"Was there a person there?"

"No" she smiled "Why do you ask that?"

"Because you've never committed to anyone you've, should we say, dated in the past two years I've known you and I wondered if that was a result of being hurt or being in love"

"Neither, I just didn't have room to commit as I said when I make a plan..."

"And what even a relationship doesn't figure?"

"Not if I didn't put it in my plan" she laughed

"Let's hope that's something you figure into this new plan of yours" he held her eyes telling her "Everyone needs someone"

"I guess that's going to have to slot itself into that unforseeable slot you just talked about, I have too much to do for myself to add such indulgences to my plan"

"Whatever you say child, but everyone needs love"

"I have love" she smiled "You love me don't you?"

"Very much, but that's not the kind I'm talking about, as you very well know" he laughed

"I know" she laughed "I just don't need to be thinking about that right now"

"Listen" he said turning his radio up, they sat listening as **'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Aretha Franklin** rang out at them, they sat listening to the familiar words _**"Sail on silver girl, sail on by, your time has come to shine, all of your dreams are on their way, see how they shine?**_ He looked at her in the mirror "You hear that right?"

"I hear that" she smiled

"Make it count"

"I will, that's a promise" she sat back watching the road go by taking her closer to her Mother, she wanted to cry for the anticipation of being home again. Her Mom had been to see her shows a few times, brought some family members down for birthdays and stayed for days when she was feeling sad about her husbands passing. Jones, that was what her Mom always called her Dad, was a big part of their lives that had suddenly been ripped away without warning. She smiled as she rememebred him walking into the kitchen every morning wrapping his hands around her Mother's waist and kissing her neck, her Mom responding with what she now recognised as want, and the two of them laughing as they looked back at the breakfast table were she'd be sitting

 _"We made her"_ her Dad would say, smiling as he came over to kiss her forehead _"We're blessed"_ he'd smile down at her waiting for his good morning, which she always gave with a smile. That made her feel so loved, proud and ambitious to be what they expected of her, which to her account was something big, phenominal even. She couldn't remember a sad morning in the house growing up until the day after her Dad passed, and then she couldn't think of a happy morning.

Her mind ran on an old friend's book, she'd agreed to read it maybe a year or so ago, it had come out every second she's thought about it, but she hadn't get further than page 46, maybe she could give that friend some time right now, start building some bridges, saying goodbye to some old ways of treating friends

 _ **Flashback**_

 _I'd been at Mom's house most of the day, the goodbye was tearful and I was more than deflated, I'd lied and told Mom my friends were passing by my house to say bye, so I'd have to leave some three hours before my drive to the airport was due, of course there were more tears but I was glad to finally get away._

 _"Mercedes" Kurt met with me on our private car park, totally surprised "I didnt think you were coming back"_

 _"What and not say a proper goodbye to my only friend" I smiled "And Blaine of course" I rolled my eyes at his disapproving look_

 _"It seems like just yesterday we sent Sam off, it's all falling apart isn't it?" he asked_

 _"No, we're all following our dreams, you guys will be big names in Hollywood before you know it, watch this space" I smiled_

 _"I guess, I mean Santana went to DC"_

 _"Yeah, and now she'd actually writing a damn book" I rolled her eyes at him_

 _"Sam found himself in New York, Blaine and I are going to Hollywood and Rachel and Quinn were the first to go off to Texas so, I suppose your right"_

 _"I, Mr Hummel am always right" I grabbed his arm and walked into our apartment, we eventually said our goodbyes and a few hours later I was on my way to LA, I'd meant to keep in touch, I'd actually said I would. I called Kurt maybe twice and Sam once and that was it, my life changed so fast I didn't manage to keep any of those promises I'd made, niether did they, life took over._

 _ **End Of Flashback**_

That was well over three years ago and she was anxous to see where everyone was in their lives today, who made it, changed it or even didnt bother, she took the book out opened it to the bent page and started reading, smiling when she came cross herself in her freinds memoirs

"We're almost there" Vennrick's voice interrupted her reading

"Thanks" she looked up smiled at him and went back to the book, it was a really good read

"We're here" he called as the car pulled up outside her apartment some time later "I'll get your bags upstairs, do you need me to take you over to your Mom's house?"

"No thank you Venn, I'll grab my car later" she smiled watching him get out the car and open the door before getting her bags out and following her up to her floor depositing the bags

"Call your Mom"

"I will" she smiled kissing his cheek

"I'm going to use the rest of the day for travel, I have a wife at home" he kissed her cheek telling her "Don't be a stranger"

"Thank you again" she took the kiss and let him go, she was going to get a well deserve bath in her own bathroom before she did anything esle


	3. Chapter 3

**Journey**

 **Sam**

Sam was sitting in Ben's office yet again looking at damage control, that was all he ever seemed to do now a days, he'd tried the relationship thing a couple of times before he realised that the fans weren't going to let him have one until they were finished fantaising over him for whatever reason. Settled into the fact that for now that was his life, he'd finally agreed that he'd have no more steady girlfriends for a while, and so he had to make do with hook ups, that were generally vetted by Ben or some employee of his.

This time he was fighting the press on their new information stating he'd finally hooked up with Emma one of the models he'd recently done a shoot with. They had hooked up once, they'd gone out for an innocent lunch, talked and found they had some stuff in common which formed them a friendship after that meal they went home, did some lines and fucked for a solid day on her shit, it was over almost as soon as the shoot finished three weeks later but the seed had been sown and ten months down the line, someone had caught them saying an intimate hello and assumed they were together, causing a dip in his fan base

"I'm absolutely fed up with this shit" Sam banged the couch arm telling Ben "I can't even have a damn life, doesn't anyone even deserve to have freinds?"

"Of course you do Sam, but just not Emma, not right now anyway" Ben's lips tight as he told him the same thing for the what seemed like the hundreth time

"I wouldn't mind going public, having a relationship I mean" Emma looked at him saying

"I'm sorry Em but I'm not up for that, I don't need this intrusion in my life right now"

"That's fine, I'm good with friend too" she smiled

"So what's the damage?" Sam looked at Ben asking

"It's recoverable I guess" Ben told him "Sorry you were dragged into this Emma"

"That's fine my ratings have gone up" she smiled

"Thanks for passing by Em, I'll call" Sam looked at her saying, dismissing her from the mini meeting, he wanted to cut his eye at her comment but she was looking right at him

"Speak to you soon" she smiled getting up to kiss his cheek before she left

The two men sat looking at her walking out the door, and watched it shut before they started talking again "See, now that comment right there makes me believe she fucking planned this, am I being paranoid?" Sam asked

"No" Ben replied "I think you're on the right track"

"I'm so sick of these bitches" he slammed the couch arm again

"So what do you suggest we do?"

"I suggest I do something, I need some think time, dust this over for me, just tell them the truth, there is no relationship just a distant freindship and I'll get back to you with my next move in a week" Sam got up telling him "Emergencies only Ben" he backed out the room saying. An hour later he was ready to jump on his bike to ride out of town unsure where this journey was going to take him but he was determined that at the end of it he'd have the perfect answer to all this mess and pressure he called his life right now

Packing his things like that, brought to mind memories of home, he smiled as he remember Mercedes, Blaine and Kurt so fondly, back then they'd been the very best of friends or in Mercedes case something else, he wasn't sure when the distance came but it did, everybody had a life to live. He stood packing his bags onto his bike, his mind went back to the day he moved into his apartment with their help and all that mess that happened around that he laughed as he climbed on his bike doing his last checks before he was ready to set out

 _ **Flashback**_

 _"Come on guys the main word here's help" I shouted from down the stairs as I tried to lift and drag the couch up the steps one at a time_

 _"That's more Blaine's thing than mine" Kurt shouted back down the steps, making me laugh_

 _"Anybody just help" I shouted back, hearing Blaine coming down the stairs to me_

 _"Sorry Bro Mercy's having her moment"_

 _"That girl needs to chill I will bawl her out in my place Dude, and it won't be pretty" I told him watching as he grabbed the other side of the couch to get it up the last ten or so steps to my apartment_

 _"Good luck with that" Blaine laughed teasingly as we got through the door_

 _I heard Mercy's voice calling my name as soon as I stepped inside, I stood for a second raking my hand through my hair and rolling my eyes at Blaine's attempt at trying to wind me up, I ignored it, this was going down, I _smiled and turned to confront her "What?" I asked walking towards the kitchen, I wasn't taking any of her damn shit today I was stressed with this damn move as it was__

 _"I was just saying to kurt" her voice much softer than the tone she'd just used to get me there, as she pointed at Kurt like I didn't know who he was "How the fuck are you moving your things into this rancid place without even cleaning it first?"_

 _There it was, her shit that tipped me over the fucking edge, it was like she had a button in her hand that she pressed sending out massive anger shots every time she opened her damn mouth to me "As you can see Miss fucking Jones everything is in fucking boxes specifically because the damn place needs cleaning so" I grabbed a cloth off the side and threw it at her "Get to fucking cleaning that's what you came for remember?" my voice level but sarcastic_

 _"How the fuck are you talking to me like you're my fucking master" she yelled at me_

 _"I didn't... where the fuck?" I looked around at Kurt standing in the kitchen, stunned into dsibelief "Did I mention that word?"_

 _"You didn't have to say the damn word, your tone and your fucking actions told me where you thought I belonged"_

 _"That doesn't even merit a fucking response, I said nothing about you doing anything but helping me, us clean up" I looked at Blaine now standing listening for defence, the bitch had drawn the racism card on me, I wasn't ready_

 _"Dude did you say the N word?" Blaine asked me_

 _"Dude are you crazy?" I asked him, my face in 'just fucking don't' mode as he asked the question_

 _"And I guess it just so happens I'm the only person of colour in the room, and the only one with a cleaning rag in my hand" Mercy threw at me, my head swung back round and my eyes popped even more_

 _"Mercedes you can not be serious, I'm not a racist" I shouted at her, I'd never wanted to slap someone so much, I stood stopping myself from doing it telling myself in my mind over and over again, that if I did that she's really have some gusto with this master thing, plus I didn't want to stoop so low_

 _"Everyone says shit like that, hell I'm not racist till I look at your racist, bigotted face and I guess I mirror your feelings towards me right back at you"_

 _"The only feeling we're mirroring right now is fucking mad" I hissed "I got to get out of here" I turned and walked out the kitchen door, seconds later I walked back in "It's my apartment" I told them watching as everyone burst out laughing "It's not even funny" I laughed with them_

 _"Loosen up" Mercy smiled at me "Duuudeee"_

 _"Whatever" I smiled at Blaine and Kurt standing there happy they'd finally exicuted a successful prank on me_

 _"That was some pretty believable stuff, had me questioning myself" I told her as I walked across the kitchen and grabbed the towel off her before I started loading the dishwasher, everyone grabbed something to do, four hours later and we were sitting sharing Pizza and beer, every wall, floor, door and window cleaned_

 _ **End Of Flashback**_

"That was one of the very few days I didn't argue with that woman" he smiled starting up his bike to make tracks, taking a left at the junction and heading for the freeway

He'd always presented as a very confident person, got lots of attention from the opposite sex and, truth be told, he enjoyed the hype when he was at shcool and maybe for a while when he first got to NY, but it soon wore off. The confidence thing was a hype and when he finally got to NY and they started talking about diets, pills and vomiting, he quickly became conscious of his body again, he was in the gym every waking hour, even started taking some of the pills for a few weeks before a reality hit him in the face, he'd never been so happy to hear Mercedes Jones' voice in his sleep

The first time he'd fell for all the attenton was just months into his contract with DMT, he'd just been told to get out there and get his face noticed, any which way he could. He flirted, took some high profile girls to dinner, clubs and even bed as he set about making his name and every time he was caught on camera with some hottie at his side his ratings went up. He was loving it everyone wanted to know who Sam Evans was and the real Sam in him was more than fine with them knowing this made up acting Sam.

Somewhere in all that vomiting, pills and dieting he got lost, and on top of that Taylor had caught hold of his attention, he was like a tiger hunting his prey flirting with the woman, he'd send her messages, followed her around begging for dates, requested friendship with her on every form of social media he found her on, spoke to her agent anything, he wanted that woman. Suddenly one day he got a message saying she wanted to see him, it didn't take long for him to respond, he couldn't believe four days later, after eight weeks of pursuing that he was sitting eating a very talkative dinner with her.

They officially went out with each other for about two weeks, she had no problem jumping on his bones after the second date, and there was very little conversation after their first time. On that one occasion they actually went out to a ball game together, she turned to him smiling, he thought she was feeling horny but she said randomly "My rating are up"

"Yeah that's good, well done" he smiled, as the crowd got ready for what seemed like another strike, catching his attention again

"No, thank you" she'd kissed his cheek telling him, he sat wondering why she was thanking him, it wasn't until he had a conversaton with Ben a few days later he understood that the tables had turned and he'd become the face everyone wanted to be seen with, that coupled with the fact that she wasn't so easy to get hold of directly after that conversation, drew the big picture on the way his life was going to be. He was pleased in a way, he was nearer to where he wanted to be in this business, but at that time he didn't know what that was going to actually mean for his personal life

"That's what the game is Sam" Ben sat telling him

"What sleep around to get ratings?" he laughed

"No joke" Ben held his hand up telling him, all that echoed through his mind at that second was the annoying Mercedes Jones again nagging at him "A _lways be true to yourself Sam Evans, that's a rough business you've chosen for yourself, it will ask you to compromise your morals every damn day, keep the faith"_ he was about to push it to the bac of his head when he'd remembered the night and decided then, sex wasn't the way he'd ever planned to do this thing

"There's going to have to be another way Ben, that's not for sale from me" he finally ended that converwaiton with, and true to his word he'd tried not to again, of course there were time feelings came sneaking in and he'd go that bit further, until he met up on not so genuine Brooke. She was putting stuff on social media from his phone, taking pictures more than the paparazzi and sending them out twice as fast, she had them all but married by the time he caught on and rushed her off quickly after just three weeks of dating.

He adjusted his earphone, secured his helmet, singing along to his jams, he needed to be in his headspace right now, he just had to get out of NY, he got on the 1-80 Express West and drove for a while the wind blowing in his face, no sand on his feet and not a girl in sight

He'd only been driving for just over two hours when his eyes caught the Beer and Band Brewery tour depo in Philly, he didn't have anywhere he urgently needed to be, so he reckoned he could waste a few hours and sink a few while listening to some authentic sounds, he docked his bike and ventrued in to make some enquires he decided to take the BYOB trolley visiting some of the claimed best beer gardens and breweries that Philadelphia has to offer, while having the vocal pleasure of some of their best local artists, he thought it was a good way to wind down.

He wasn't a naturally sociable guy outside of his fake self, but once the drink started to take hold it became easier, he was singing along, drinking and dancing as much as the next man, he'd just gone back to the bar to get yet another refill when another two guys got up on stage, one of them playing some chords on his guitar, the sound made him spin round, he'd missed that sound from church.

"This is a little thing called **'Magnolia' by Rence"** one of the guys looked up at the audience announcing

"I can't say there's anything colourful about my life right now" Sam said out loud but only he could hear it turning back to order his drink

He heard the first few chords and turned to listen to the men playing this soulful tune at him, smiling as they revealed the words **_"I'm here, gonna count the days or weeks or months or years, Mama told me love before you disappear, so I loved and learned and worked and now I'm here..."_** "Ain't that the truth" he huffed to himself, these men were telling him words his Aunt had told him many years ago, he'd actually forgotten them until this very second, he turned fully to listen to the words

He sat listening to these men's take on a version of his life, realising he had control over his outcome _**"(Oh) it's been a long, long, long, time coming (time coming, time coming, oh) and I spent a long, long, long, time running (time running, time running) I didn't know I was running from myself (from myself)…."**_ he sat knowing this was a sign, but to what he had no clue, and right now he was too drunk to even think about the answer to that. **_"But I just found out can't get no help from no one else"_** those last few words seemed to jump out at him, they sung a few more little short songs like that before they left the stage and an impact on him. By the time his evening was over he was just about fit for staggering over to the hotel across the road from the drop off point, and throw his head in the pillow, he could start his elaborate plan tomorrow, but even he knew one song wasn't going to change his world, he needed more, maybe he needed someone, but it was difficult to tell the genuine ones in the world he was in.

He woke up to someone shouting "Who are you talking to" at him, tapping his shoulder, he jerked out of his sleep at the intrusion

"What?" he wiped his eyes before he realised his head was banging and it needed to find the pillow again quick "Who are you?" he closed his eyes and rested his head asking

"The room, you had it until 12 it's way past 1pm now" she told him "And you were talking in your sleep, loudly"

"Sorry" Sam opened his eyes for a second telling her "I'll pay for the extra time, I just need to freshen up and I'll come see you" his eyes closed as he spoke

"Okay" the elderly lady replied leaving the room

Sam lay smiling at himself remembering his second worst drunken night at home just over three years ago, he hadn't really become acquainted to drink until he'd got his own place in Lima

 _ **Flashback**_

 _I'd been drinking way before I'd got to Kurt and Mercedes apartment, I'd had a date with some girl I can't even remember the name of right now. She wasn't all that, and by the end of the two hour meal I was past bored, the sips of whisky I was using to keep awake had gone straight to my head. Ordinarily I'd have been polite, dropped her off whereever she needed to be at the end of the date, and deleted her number, but for some unknown reason I hadn't deleted her number, and of course being intoxicated I hadn't taken her home either_

 _"So" my hands firmly in my pockets as we left the resturant "I'll maybe see you around" I told her my expression clearly telling her that wasn't going to happen_

 _"I talked too much didn't I?" she asked_

 _"Yes, a lot" I laughed_

 _"We're not going to see each other again are we?"_

 _"I don't think so, not for a date anyway" I frowned "Oh here's your cab" I smiled as it pulled up, the only person I needed to see right now was the one Miss Mercedes Jones, I turned my head for her to kiss my cheek, opened the cab door for her and near slammed it before I watched it drive off "At last" I breathed rolling my eyes before turning to make my way to see Blaine and of course Mercedes_

 _"Hi" I smiled as the door opened and I saw Mercedes standing there "I needed a friend" I told her watching Blaine and Kurt give each other that knowing look, I knew this was becoming some sort of habit, we'd kissed by chance a while back and it just seemed like every time we were together drinking we got back to that place, it never went past an excited kiss but for me, from her, that was enough. I burst into song_ _ **"I wanna be a billionaire so freakin' bad, buy all of the things I never had, uh, I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine, smiling next to Oprah and the Queen"**_ _"That's gonna be me I swear" I chuckled_ **'Billionnaire' by Bruno Mars & Travis McCoy **_I confirmed for Mercedes puzzled face_

 _"I know" Blaine laughed_

 _"Hi" she laughed watching me concentrate on my steps to get into the apartment "We all believe in you Sam"_

 _"We're doing shots" Blaine told him getting up to get him a glass_

 _"I think he's already had his shot" Kurt looked at me wobbling towards them_

 _"I'm happy you believe in me" I turned back to look at her, smiling in acknowledgment of her kind words "I'm fine I can take a shot" I told Kurt still walking towards them_

 _"Where you been?" she asked_

 _"The bar" I replied leaving out the fact that I was there with a date_

 _"Obiously" she smiled, following me over to the couch, two shots later we were talking intimately, our body language saying loudly what we wanted from each other and when Blaine and Kurt disappeared we went at it, kissing until it attempted to go out of fashion, we were interrupted by my phone buzzing_

 _"Who's that?" she pulled up off me asking_

 _"Nobody" I rejected the call saying before pulling her back to me_

 _"Who is that" she pulled away from me again when the phone rang again "Answer it" she snapped at me, somewhat sober now_

 _"It's nobody" I tried to grab her back to me, I was past excited, but she wasn't moving_

 _"Answer it" she demanded, I stared at her for a while before I flipped it open and answered it, knowing I'd already spoilt the mood_

 _"Hello" I called down the phone, I knew who it was I'd just told her to fuck off really nicely "I can't speak now" I looked at Mercy telling the voice on the phone_

 _"Why can't you talk?" Mercy asked, moving further away from me "Put it on loud speaker"_

 _"No" I told her closing the call off in the girls midsentence, I knew by her tone I was in trouble and that sobered me up quick_

 _"If it's a girl she's going to call back" Mercy had indirectly told me she knew, I was defeated so I came clean_

 _"It was a girl" I admitted, the guilt was already all over my damn face "We went out on a date earlier but it didn't gel, I let her down easy, I didn't know she had my number"_

 _"You took a fucking girl out tonight and then came back here to work that off on me?" she jumped up at me asking_

 _"No, it wasn't like that" I looked up at her_

 _"For fuck sake Evans when are you going to fucking surprise me and be a man about your shit, you didn't get shit off her so you thought you'd try your damn luck with me, admit it"_

 _"That's not true" my phone rang again distracting the both of us_

 _"Answer it" she demanded "And put it on speaker, let me hear what this fucking truth is" I did as she asked and sat having this conversation with this random while Mercedes listened_

 _"Sam?" the voice called in the uneasy silence_

 _"I'm here, what do you want?" I looked at Mercy as I spoke_

 _"I know you sort of said we were a no go, but seriously I was talking that much because I was nervous, could we give it another try?"_

 _"No, I meant what I said earlier" my eyes still focused on Mercy "I don't want to date you"_

 _"It was worth the try, I think you're a nice guy"_

 _"Could you delete my number please, I don't even know how you got it"_

 _"I took it off your phone when you went to the bar" she laughed "I thought we were gelling"_

 _"No" I replied coldly_

 _"Bye Sam"_

 _"Bye" I told her clipping my phone off "I didn't do anythig with the girl, I had no intention of doing anything with her, I..."_

 _"But the fact still remains, you had a date tonight and you lied about it" she hissed "Obviously you chatted her up in the first fucking place to get the damn date" she turned and made to walk out the room_

 _"So what, it's not like we're commited to each other here, we make out, that's it" I tried to defend my actions telling her_

 _"So if that's the case you can get that from anywhere I'm sure" she flipped around and walked off into her bedroom_

 _I sat with a feeling of regret, I had nothing to offer her, not right now, I was scared of commitment, that stuff was for life and I knew if I was ever going to come up to my best friends partner's bestie I was going to have to come correct. Because if anything were to go wrong in what I was dreaming, thinking, or even hoping, it would be detrimental to my relationship with my best friend, I couldn't be around him and not see her, and I couldn't ask our best freinds to split their time to accommodate our fuck ups_

 _The other fly in the ointment was that I was going to New York, that was my life's dream, I needed to fulfil it and nothing and no one was going to come between me and my goal, so I'd bit my tongue at her rant refused to tell her why I'd turned that random down and let her believe I was a bastard_

 _ **End of Flashback**_

"Why did I just think about that?" his head jumped off the pillow as he asked himself the question "And why does she still get my damn blood boiling even in my fucking sleep" he smiled to himself. His head felt like he'd done several lines the night before, he knew that wasn't the case, he'd weaned that shit out of his system a while ago

He'd been trying to get in with the 'in crowd', parties, drugs and of course rock and roll, trying to do as Ben had ordered and get himself a rep and some followers for when his first solo professional shoot hit the street.

His original contract was for GAP, he'd left everything for the four month expose' it was his life's dream, a fluke photoshoot he'd done with Blaine found itself in the hands of Margo, a local fashion designer who took his look to New York, the next thing he knew there was a call, an offer and an opportunity. Ben was on the ball, he'd helped him through the contract, found him a decent place to call home for a while, with six other male models, who introduced him to some other male models that were starting out too. That was where he was introduced to his first binge eat, pill pop and short sharp shock into A class drugs

As he got to understand the nature of the beast he'd chosen, he was horrified at the competition between the guys, but then egged on by his determination to get somewhere, he too quckly jumped on the bandwagon, he was poppig pills, dieting like crazy and of course joining in the parties. Drugs wasn't something he just ran into he was eased into it by his aquaintences, first it was a pull, then a few pulls, then a line, it was all about fitting in. At that point in his career fitting in became important to him, of course it was encouraged by his feeling of insecurity after these so called friends had pointed out his shortfalls, somehow they jumped out at him once highlighted. It must have been nearly a year down the line after the man bitching, false girlfriends and a really bad trip that brought his demons up in his face, namely Blaine, Mercedes and Kurt, that he sat himself down, focused his life and got serious about modeling.

His focus changed, he signed up with various agencies and started doing back work for female models, got himself some fame and eventually branched out into cigarette, clothing, alcohol and eventually he hit the big time with the fragrance shoot, he became the fresh face of Yott, a cologue for men. Over night, after the Brooke sinario, he'd turned into a woman magnet, most of them way out of his league, but he'd soon found out what their game was too, there was no interest in relationships in this world, it was all about ratings. There was no flirting, no chase nothing just sex on a need basis, being up there was lonely, and right now until he found something, anything else to do, that was his life, he just got on with it

He finally lifted his head off the pillow and talked himself into finding the bathroom, coming out half an hour later dripping wet and covered in hotel towels, eventually finding the attched diner for some food before grabbing his bike from across the road and carrying on with his journey, the only thing he remembered from his tour was some of the words from that specific song he'd heard, he checked his phone for the original singer and set that up on his player, started his bike and he was off

Five hours later, dusk was falling as he saw the sign telling him he was just entering Pittsburgh, he smiled at the familiar journey, he knew where his mind was taking him "Hello there" he heard turning his head to see two young ladies wanting some attention

"Hello" he smiled back waving at them, trying to hide the shock on his face when they made a U-turn to walk back to him

"Hi" the redhead smiled at him "I'm Bailey, and this is Sadie"

"Hi Bailey, Sadie" Sam went to giggle until he realised they didn't see the funny in that "I'm Sam"

"We know who you are Sam Evans" Sadie cooed at him

"Yeah that stuff follows me everywhere" his smile getting nervous, he really wasn't up for any publicity right now "But I'm not working right now I'm on a sabatical"

"Can we come with you?" Bailey asked excitedly, they were fit, no doubt, but he shook his head anyway

"No sorry, I'm really doing this one on my own" he grabbed hold of his bike again, he thought he was resting it up for the night, but he jumped on it he could do without the wreckless sex, maybe he could find something a bit more secluded further down the road "Flirting" he smiled rolling his eyes as he started up the engine "Nice meeting you" he looked up once he'd settled on his bike "Bye"

"Your loss, bye" the girls giggled watching as he drove off

He'd got all the way to Station Square before he realised he was tired, he parked his bike, checked into room 411 at the Fairmont, grabbed a shower and sat looking at the menu for food , it was all very much the same. He threw the menu down on the large coffee table in his suite and flicked through the TV for a while trying to find something to grab his attention, laughing at the Mercedes of it all

 _ **Flashback**_

 _"Twenty minutes" she rolled her eyes looking around the table at Blaine and Kurt laughing "It's not even fucking funny" she snapped "Sam" she hissed "Come on"_

 _"I'm still torn" I looked up from the menu telling her_

 _"This is so frustrating, just choose already" she shouted at me_

 _"Mercedes" Kurt gasped looking around the resturant, he hated scenes and us two together was one big fucking scene_

 _"I've got it down to stake or lamb" I looked up at her proving I was doing some serious decision making_

 _"Are you doing this because I promised Blaine I'd ease up on you today?" she giggled_

 _"No seriously I'm down to two"_

 _"Let me make this easier for you" she moved closer to me checking the menu with me as I watched her hand slip down below the table before it started stroking my inner thigh as she spoke to me, I wasn't doing much talking at that point, this wasn't a place we'd ever visited before, her hand was sailing too close to my groin for concentration, plus I was rising for the occasion, my face embarrassingly red with lust "What about the Ribs?" she asked smiling at me erotically, her hand hitting the zip on my pants, stroking it as she spoke, it felt like there were no clothes between her hand and my body, I closed my eyes trying to get the image of her giving me release out of my mind_

 _"Yeah I guess it's the Ribs" I looked at her lips telling her, all I wanted to do right then was grab hold of her and lay her out_

 _The night went so slow for me, she sat moving her dinner around the plate with her fork while her other hand stayed in my lap rubbing touching making me sweat, I knew she was playing but that didn't stop my body from reacting all that was swimming round my mind was the words_ _ **'Open up your gates cause I can't wait to see the light, and right there is where I wanna stay, uh'**_ _from that song_ _ **'Locked Out Of Heaven' by Bruno Mars** I_ _was very much locked out of what I perceived to be heaven right now. We didn't even get drunk that night, she simply said goodnight and after I opened my front door she drove off with Blaine and Kurt in the cab, I'd half expected her to make an excuse and get back to my place but after waiting for thrity minutes I gave that dream up. After that she took to getting what she wanted out of me by unsuspectedly touching me appropriately in inappropriate places at akward times, I secretly loved it, it was like foreplay without the actual end result. Since we'd been making out, I didn't have the heart to be that way with other girls, it was like she'd grabbed me to herself without either of us even knowing when exclusivity happened_

 _ **End of Flashback**_

"Ribs" he smiled, the hotel was suburb, the food looked top class but everywhere he'd looked he'd seen couples and he just didn't need to feel like a lone fish swimming in that glass bowl, so eventually he grabbed his phone and scanned through for something to do nearby, 'Chicken and Ribs' jumped out at him, he was hooked

"Where's this Chicken and Ribs place?" he showed his phone to the bellboy asking, he was given instructions for the short walk, it was a lovely cool breezy evening so he took the stroll, everything was so tall, people littered the pavements, music coming from nearly every door along his way, crossing over the Smithfields bridge, he was at his desitination within 25 minutes, the smell of burning meat making his tastebuds tingle "What do you offer?" he looked up at the long list of cruises offering whatever your heart desired as the elderly woman reeled off names like he was supposed to know what they entailed "Which one has the Chicken and Ribs?" he finally asked totally lost in the one sided conversation

"The Lock and Dam dinner cruise" the lady smiled at him

"That's the one" he smiled

"That will be 30 bucks" she held her hand out telling him, he flashed his card against her machine and waited for his entrance ticket

"Have a good evening" she smiled handing him his ticket and pointing in the direction he needed to go, he smiled at the young scene going on couples, groups, single people dotted all over the place, the DJ he didn't expect to see, sending out a fitting song for the loved up crowd, some people rocking, tapping feet, conversations going, he looked around familiarising himself with his surroundings before stepping off in the direction of some empty chairs he'd spotted near the bar

He ordered his cocktail and sat tapping his foot, listening to the now livelier music and wondering when the food was going to start, he was famished "Hi" he heard rolling his eyes for not being left alone, looking round to see this tall blond standing over his shoulder "Sorry I just needed to ask" she smiled getting his attention, he turned to listen to her "Are you..." she looked at the vacant stool beside him

"Please, take it" Sam pointed at the chair thinking she wanted the seat

She looked at him puzzled for a second before she started talking again "Are you doing anything tonight?"

"Just passing through, grabbing some food, sleep and then I'm out of town" he looked around checking for her company

"It' just that I was hoping you'd do me" she smiled taking the seat beside him, he smiled this brought so much shit back for him, just one step below getting paid for sex

"What happened to good old fashioned flirting?" he laughed

"I'm not asking for a relationship, just a hook up" she looked at him her face serious as she spoke

"Sorry" he giggled "I have a girlfriend, I'm on my way home"

"Sorry" she smiled getting up to leave him alone

He drained the last of his cocktail and got up to go find food, he took his fill of the wares available before making his way to the open deck and sat on a lounger listening to the music while taking in the view of the lights, houses and people on the river side as they sailed past, there were mainly couples on that deck all focusing on their romantic evening, whispers of love, lots of PDA and plain old fashioned flirting, he smiled remembering the consequence of someone close to his heart flirting, it had been a while since he'd felt anything like he did that night.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Flashback**_

 _"Don't go wondering off tonight" Kurt warned Mercy as we walked into the nightclub_

 _"I'm full grown" she hissed back at him smiling "Drinks?"_

 _"Yeah" Kurt replied all of us making our way to the bar, we were stood sipping drink and rocking to the music looking around the room when I noticed Mercedes catching sight of some guys across the dance floor._

 _"Who are they?" I asked moving my chin in the direction she was looking in, before I could stop myself_

 _"Pat and his freinds, we had a laugh the last time I was here"_ _she smiled_

 _I took her explanation, but through the night my eyes were on her and them, I'd taken to watching her like an hawk, this was a strange feeling for me, I stood half the night wondering what my mind was actually up to, we'd made no commitments to each other, but one of the guys had definitely taken a liking to her and for some reason I was raging inside_

 _Of course the drinking got out of hand as usual for Blaine and Kurt, so they went into their usual sloppy mode finding an empty booth to make out in, just around the same time as they moved off, I needed the bathroom, Mercedes was at the bar ordering more drinks so I'd quickly rushed off to the bathroom. On my way out I'd bumped into Carrie, we stood talking about old school days for a while, it was maybe ten minutes or so, by the time we'd finished talking about old freinds and stuff. When I finally got back to our table there was some random people sitting there and my drink was missing, I looked around at the booths nearby, I knew where Blaine and Kurt were so I wondered over, eventually finding them I asked the question "Where's Mercedes?"_

 _"Don't know" Blaine's head popped up replying_

 _"She dropped your drinks off here" Kurt told me pointing to my half drunk one and the one she'd been at the bar buying when he left her "I think you were busy with Carrie" he frowned disapprovingly_

 _"She's from school" I screwed my nose up at the thought telling them, before I turned to scan the room, I smiled when I saw Mercedes standing with that Pat and his friends, laughing, hugging and flirting, it wasn't a 'have fun' kind of smile my head was all over the place, it was a 'What the fuck is this bitch disrespecting me for' kind of smile, I put his drink down and made my way across the dance floor to where she was "Hey" I grabbed her hips from behind smiling, I was up for claiming my girl only she wasn't my girl, I did wonder what I was doing but I couldn't stop myself "I was worried about you" I pulled her into my chest as I whispered in her ear_

 _"No need these guys were looking after me" she lifted her head up and threw it back smiling to answer me, acting like my move was natural for us_

 _"That's what I'm here for" I told her my grip getting tighter as I spoke, I was definitely marking my territory "We got to go" I told her, finally deciding to look up at the guys watching our, what might have looked like an, intimate conversation_

 _"Okay" she smiled pulling away from me "Pat, Dwyane, Kegan this is Sam" she told them walking towards Pat "I'll see you guys again" she hugged Pat telling all three, I stood watching her flirting with the guys, pecking Pat's cheek as the others accused her of favouritism before she went back to give them kisses too, lapping up all the attention_

 _"Mercedes" I finally grabbed her waist, fed up of watching her flirt, I was so mad by now I don't even know how I could still see_

 _"Bye Guys" she came away with my pull laughing at some face Pat was making as we left, I wanted to punch his lights out_

 _We got back to the table where the others were, I couldn't talk I was so angry, she stood watching as I threw her jacket at her, grabbed mine and grabbed her hand with my free hand before we walked quickly across the dance floor and out the club "Why the fuck were you acting like some cheap bitch with those guys?" I hissed as we got outside, my head was lifting I was so angry_

 _"What?" she jerked her hand from me asking "Not that it's any of your fucking business, but I wasn't..."_

 _"Don't even try to tell me you didn't fucking fancy any of them, I could tell, you were all over them"_

 _"I was having a good time, something you should be used to already"_

 _"Which is why I know what a girls after when she acts like how you were acting in there, throwing yourself around like some cheap ..."_

 _"Cheap what?" she turned on me asking "I dare you to finish what you're thinking to say, and I swear your fucking teeth will be missing" she looked into my eyes, I could tell she was furious, but I didn't know at that point whether she wanted to slap me silly or kiss my brains out_

 _"So you have pretty words, smiles, laughs even for those guys but fucking threats for me?"_

 _"You started this"_

 _"Only because you were being a fucking whore" I told her, knowing I'd made her mind up for her on which one she wanted to deliver I saw her right arm come up and felt her fist connected with my cheek, it all happened so fast_

 _"Bitch" she grabbed her aching fist, like she hadn't expected it to hurt that much_

 _"What the fuck" I held my face looking at her, up until that point all I'd wanted to do was kiss her but for that second I wanted to slap her the fuck back_

 _"I told you not to fuck with me Evans" I heard, double looking as I felt wet on my face, I was shocked she'd drew blood_

 _"And because I'm telling you the truth you want to crack my fucking nose?" I turned back to look at her, moving my hand to expose my bleeding nose as I spoke_

 _"Maybe I didn't mean to punch...gosh" she gasped as she saw blood "Fuck Sam I'm sorry" she stepped towards me "Pinch the top of your nose" she ordered watching me standing and letting the blood slowly drain "Pinch the top" she stepped closer to me reaching up and grabbing the cleft of my nose_

 _"I got it" I pulled away from her telling her, I stood thinking I actually deserved it for calling her that_

 _"No, you don't" she grabbed my nose again smiling when I flinched for the pain "I have a word for you too" her eyes soft and sorry_

 _"What?" I squeeked out of my pinched nose_

 _"Jealous" she giggled "Why couldn't you just say you felt jealous instead of all this whore stuff?"_

 _"Because I'm not jealous"_

 _"Well I was, I saw you talking to that blond and I didn't like it" she confessed_

 _"I was maybe a bit jealous" I laughed_

 _"It was innocent flirting Sam, and we agreed this was nothing didn't we?"_

 _"Yeah but I guess I feel protective of you sometimes, I mean we make out, a lot" I smiled "And that was Carrie from school, we never had anything"_

 _"But it looked like she wanted something and you were letting her flirt with you" she huffed "In front of me" she looked up at me with slit eyes_

 _"Sorry" I smiled "I was mad when I said those things"_

 _"I shouldn't have punched up, but you just get me so damn mad" she moved her fingers from the bridge of my nose "I think it's stopped" she rummaged in her jacket pocket and got me some tissue out "Here"_

 _"Thanks" I took the tissue and wiped the droplets of blood from my nose "It that alright?" I looked at her asking_

 _"Just..." she grabbed the tissue off me and cleaned up what was left, dabbing at my nose gently until every trace of blood had gone, her eyes focused on what she was doing while I looked down at her lips moving with every touch, I wanted to kiss her, I needed to kiss her, the second she looked up into my eyes I grabbed her to me and kiss her hard, smiling when she relaxed into me, I secretly loved this woman, if she'd have me today I'd marry her_

 _"I was so damn jealous, I was mad" I finally told her when our lips parted "Just don't flirt in front of me again"_

 _"Don't you either" she smiled as her hand came up the back of my head, my eyes rolled at her touch while she pulling me down to grab my lips "You're fast becoming a best friend Evans" she told me when she let go of my lips_

 _"You too Jones" I grabbed her hand to walk her home, we were going to get our freak on, in the make out department, I smiled humming quitely to myself_ _ **'Don't say no no no no no, just say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, and we'll go go go go go, if you're ready, like I'm ready'**_ _as we walked in a comfortable silence_ _ **'Marry You' by Bruno Mars**_

 _ **End of Flashback**_

There was no flirting in this life he'd chosen for himself, there was no time to think about the feelings of someone else, slapping for jealously, or any other reason, it just didn't happen, he rubbed his nose smiling at that last time anyone thought enough about him to be hurt about something he'd done, laughter brought him back onto the boat, he looked around for a second before getting up to find the bar "Cold beer please" he smiled at the bartender

Before he knew it the three hours were up and his feet were back on the ground, his belly was full and after all that sitting he was ready for the twenty five minute walk back to the hotel, he grabbed a shower, switched the TV in the bedroom on for noise and fell asleep in front of it within minutes, it had been a while since he'd closed his eyes

The next morning he got up there was no rush about anything, he so wanted to miss church, breakfast was stretched out over two hours as he people watched before paying his bill and hopping onto his bike. He'd been travelling for two days and he hadn't come up with anything resembling a plan

His mind was on home now, he hadn't been back since he'd left, once Blaine, Kurt and Mercedes left there was nothing to go back for, his parents were gone way before he finished school, he'd stayed with a baron Aunt in Ohio and she'd passed just after his 18th birthday leaving him a shit load of money, he evetually sold the house in Finlay, timed well as Blaine had just met Kurt who lived in Lima, they'd been down there a couple of times and he thought it was a nice place to live so he brought himself an apartment and rented it out when he left. He didn't know then Mercedes was going to turn into the baine of his life, she was an abolsute headache, that turned out to be a even bigger heartache, he'd actually fell in love with the enemy, he saddened as he remembered his farewells those years ago, well one specific farewell

 _ **Flashback**_

 _We'd had a near miss the night before I left, I'd walked into my bedroom thinking she was sleeping and she wasn't everything had gone out the window seeing her laying in my bed I came out of my bathroom with every intention of telling her exactly what I felt, climbing into bed with her and then asking her to go with me, or leave everything and go with her. I knew who I wanted and I wasn't going to be a bitch about it, I came out and fell on the bed, topless on purpose, smiling inside with excitement when I said "I can put a top on if it's distracting, it's just so hot"_

 _"It's fine" she smiled, her face told me she wanted this too, she was watching my lips begging me to put them on her, I moved towards her remembering I had something to say_

 _"I want to..." I got out before the door burst open, distracting us_

 _"Sorry I thought you were out taking Mercedes back, I need an extra blanket" Blaine told us walking through the room as we sat watching him_

 _He'd spoilt the mood, made me realise how selfish I was being asking her to do something like that, to forget all her dreams for me, who the hell did I think I was "I better go before we do something that's not really best for us right now" I smiled getting up "Goodnight"_

 _"Goodnight" she smiled back at me as left the room with Blaine, I heard her singing a really sad song, I had to force myself to listen to Blaine's conversation and stop thinking about what I'd just said a stupid no to_

 _The next day she was a bit distant but so was I, she was the one person I was going to find it really hard to say goodbye to, even more than Blaine, we all had a chatty breakfast Rachel and Quinn going on about life as a same sex couple back home while Kurt and Blaine got excited about their future on Broadway, Mercy and I passing glances at each other, the time to say goodbye getting closer. We finally said goodbye to Rachel and Quinn got in my packed car and went to church as we'd promised, sung our song together and left directly for the airport_

 _We stood listening to Blaine going on about this new adventure, our eyes still saying to each other things we didn't want to come out of our mouths"I guess it's time" Blaine looked up at the departures board telling everyone_

 _"Yeah I guess it is" I looked at the board responding_

 _"Bro" Blaine walked towards me smiling "Don't be a stranger and be fucking carefull out there"_

 _"Back at you when you go in three weeks" I smiled hugging my best friend, we hadn't been apart for nearly five years_

 _"Take care" Kurt hugged me saying_

 _"And you take care of him" I told Kurt as I looked at Blaine before turning to Mercedes my heart and face suddenly sad "And you" I grabbed her hand and walked away from Blaine and Kurt "I'll miss you so much" I hugged her tight to me, shocked at a tear falling when I realised she was crying into my chest "Hey Miss Franklin" I eventually lifted her head off my chest trying to smile while wiping my face dry "Promise me you'll get all that respect going on up in that damn place" I held her chin up_

 _"I promise" she giggled_

 _"Respectfully?"_

 _"I heard you last night already" she tapped my arm telling me_

 _"Were you mad with me this morning?" I wiped her wet face asking_

 _"What?" she looked up at me knowing full well what I meant_

 _"You know for not taking last night any further?" I pulled her to me asking bravely_

 _"I might have been, but you'll never know now will you?"_

 _"I want you to know that I really wanted to, you'll never know how much I wanted to, but I knew this was happening today and I didn't want to do that to you"_

 _"What, turn me into a random?" she laughed_

 _"If I ever got you, believe the word random wouldn't come into it" I laughed, but I meant every word "Can we do something random right now?"_

 _"Like?"_

 _"Kiss, I mean without the drink"_

 _"Please" she looked into my eyes smiling, I couldn't think of anything I wanted more than this woman right now, my head went down to meet hers, smiling at hers coming up to meet mine and we stood having our first and last real kiss_

 _"Hate to break that up" Blaine's voice jerked us out of our kiss_

 _"But you're going to" I gave him my pissed off smile_

 _"Sorry" he told us _ _"But it's getting close to the wire"___

 _"One day we'll do that uninterrupted" I laughed looking back at Mercedes_

 _"If we ever kiss again" she laughed "Go on get out of here and remember what I said"_

 _"What did you say?" my face filled with panic_

"A _lways be true to yourself Sam Evans, that's a rough business you've chosen for yourself, it will ask you to compromise your morals every damn day, keep the faith"_

 _"Oh that" I smiled pulling her to me and taking a kiss without permission, I needed to set a bar "Bye" I looked down at her before I let her go "Have a good life Mercy Jones you deserve it"_

 _"And you too Sam Evans, I ... you know already, I'll miss you" she blushed_

 _"You'll find someone else to shout at I'm sure"_

 _"I won't" she giggled watching me walk away backwards "I only ever want to shout at you"_

 _"Promise?"_

 _"Aboslutley promise" she shouted after me, my hands flew up in the air as I jumped and punched high on the vibe she was sending me off on, and then she was out of sight, that was the last time I'd seen her, I just knew she wanted to tell me she loved me, I could feel it, but maybe she was tied up in her dreams too_

 _ **End Of Flashback**_

He was on his bike he knew that, but he had no idea how far he'd driven with his mind on something else, he was wondering what might have happened for them had they not both been so pig headed, she must have known that he loved her, she wasn't an idiot.

He looked up to see a billboard with his face on it, he knew he was getting closer to home, that little town in Ohio had been his world once upon a life time ago and suddenly it felt like that again, it held memories of his parents, Aunt, first childhood sweetheart, best friend, love, an excitement rushed through him as he came to the Ohio welcome sign, he was home. Just over four hours after he'd started out eariler that day he was in his home town of Finlay, looking at the familiar shops, bars and finally his old home, those nearing five years felt like a lifetime ago.

He had time, he needed to have those memories back, he drove past the school smiling as he recollected his senior year and how proud they were to have won the championships with him as captain, the park, bookshop, the coffee shop where they'd had so many hang outs over the years, before carrying on his journey past the bars he frequented with Blaine, Kurt and Mercedes, finally sitting outside his apartment building in Lima.

He got off his bike to enter the buidling before he thought better of it, he couldn't just turn up unannounced with tenants in the place, he needed to find a hotel, or he could stay at Mercedes' place, that was laying empty, he could leave a note telling her he'd been there. He jumped back on his bike and made the short journey over to her place, put his bike in the private park underneath the building and made his way upstairs taking his key out as he went, the elevator door opened and he smiled at the familiarity of it all, walking slowly towards the door he inserted the key and opened the door

 _ **Sam & Mercy **_

"Sam" she gasped as she looked up at the unexpected visitor entering her flat "You could have at least knocked the fucking door" she stood with a towel wrapped around her wet skin smiling

"That would have been too easy, you'd have no reason to bawl me out" he smiled "What are you doing here?" he walked towards her asking

"I live here"

"No, I mean I thought you were in LA" he finally stood in front her saying

"I thought you were in NYC" she reached up and kissed his cheek "I missed you, pain" she tapped his chest telling him "And get those boots off" she looked down at his dusty boots telling him

"I could do with a bath and a bed" he looked at himself telling her

"I have both at your disposal" she smiled moving away from him as she spoke "Fill your boots" she stood watching him walk towards the bathroom with his bags

"Blaine's room?"

"Yep" she laughed, slamming herself on the couch, thinking she was too pleasantly surprised at his presence and was this really what she needed right now, humming _**'Say A Little Prayer' by Arthea Franklin** her mind in overdrive **"While combing my hair now, and wondering what dress to wear now..."**_ as she played with her hair thinking "No, but it's what I want" she told herself looking at the bathroom door _**'**_ _ **Forever and ever, you'll stay in my heart, and I will love you, forever and ever, we never will part, oh, how I love you, together, forever, that's how it must be, to live without you, would only mean heartbreak for me'**_ "Unforseeable" she giggled "He's here for a reason Miss Mercedes Jones" her eyebrow raised as she took in his humming coming through the closed door

Sam was sat in the bath smiling, he didn't have anything to run off for this time, if he chose to, he could just stay in Lima, his oppotunity was here, he hadn't asked her a single question, maybe she was married, engaged, in love but right now he didn't care, he could talk her round, she was what he wanted, and something had brought him here he believed it was for a reason, for this reason. The only thing he could find to do right now was hum, he was too excited, he lay back humming **'Just The Way You Are' by Bruno Mars** _**"Oh, her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shining, her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her trying, she's so beautiful and I tell her everyday..."**_ this was his destiny he could feel it, nothing had ever seemed so right for him, everything else would have to work itself out around her because this was it, she was it and he knew it as soon as he saw her again _**"Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she'd let me, her laugh, her laugh she hates but I think it's so sexy, she's so beautiful, and I tell her everyday..."**_ he lay laughing at the fact that her laugh was actually sexy

 _ **"Cause, girl, you're amazing, Just the way you are,**_ _ **Yeah"**_ He finished, eventually he washed off, got out the bath and wrapped himself in a towel he'd found in the bathroom wrapping his smaller towel around his head before walking out into the living room where he knew she was sitting "So" he smiled as he walked towards her not caring that he wasn't dressed "What brought you back?"

"I finished my show" her eyes wondered around the parts of his body she could see, he was still fit

"What it's finished already?" he smiled at her reaction to him, he was sure already he was what she wanted

"No I'd had enough I needed a break"

"So you're going back?" he asked smiling

"No I don't think so" she smiled "I need to be home for a while" she frowned "And you?"

"I have some thinking to do about what direction I want to go in" he smiled "And leaving that business is one of those directions"

"I know what you mean, I thought I was becoming Aretha" she laughed

"I was slowly becoming someone I didn't really want to know too"

"I guess we should have been careful about what we wished for" she laughed

"I didn't get what I wished for" he frowned

"Neither did I, not really"

"Maybe we just didn't wish hard enough"

"Maybe it was the wrong time to wish for it" she looked at him cheekily

They sat talking in some detail about what had brought them back to Lima after all this time, learning about each others lives from a new perspective, talking about their new aspirations, learning they were never truely happy with the decision they made back then, they were friends again it hadn't taken long, they hadn't shouted at each other again yet, in fact they were leaned in listening to every word being said

"We haven't had a blow out yet" he smiled at her

"That's because I've learned some serious life lessons"

"I know a bit about life lessons" he raked his hands through his hair telling her

After two hours of chat, Mercedes was the one who finally brought the subject back to the day they parted company "If I remember rightly we got to kissing without the drink" she laughed "I actually remember the kiss, is that weird?"

"No" he laughed "I remember it too, and I apologised for not being able to take that where I wanted it to go"

"Where did you want it to go?"

"Mercy Jones" he grinned shyly looking down at his hands before his eyes focused on her lips

"I love the way you say that, Mercy Jones" she rolled her eyes smiling at him "So what would you say to us taking it there, I mean where you wanted it to go?" she looked back at him asking

"Respect me I guess" he grinned

"Out there maybe, but in here never" she giggled

"I need to say" he looked at his fidgeting hands again before looking back up at her "I don't want this to be a hook up, I need you to feel something, I'm done with that life we just talked about"

"Oh I feel something Sam" she smiled leaning towards him "I feel more than something actually, I can't believe it's lasted this long" she waited for him to move towards her, he reached in and kissed her

"I know it sounds stupid but, can we do the courting thing for a bit?"

"I'd love to do the courting thing" she giggled

"So will you be my girl?"

"Oh that sounds so primitive and so damn sexy" she laughed "Yeah I'll be your girl" she pecked his lips telling him "Will you be my guy, I mean totally my guy?"

"Already there" he smiled kissing her back "I think I had you on my mind the minute I started this journey, I didn't plan on coming home, but obviously my subconscious knew you were going to be here waiting for me"

"New concept, me waiting for you" she looked up at him "You were in my mind all the way home too, along with Kurt, Blaine of course, Santana... and maybe Rachel and Quinn, Mom, Dad and..."

"Okay, you've burst my bubble" he laughed at her giggle

"But seriously in every thought you were there, up front and centre" she kissed his lips again

"I hope we can do this relationship without all the diss stuff, it's exhausting"

"I wouldn't diss my man, plus I've changed, a good friend of mind gave me some advice once that I took to heart, he said 'Y _ou can't take that attitude with you to LA, it's spoilt brat behaviour and nobody likes working with those including you'_ I guess I adopted it as soon as my feet hit the ground in LA"

"Hope you'll keep practicing it" he frowned "I'm a very different animal as a boyfriend"

"I'm a very different, respectful kind of girlfriend" she giggled taking his kiss as his lips moved towards hers "I need to go see my Mom, that should have been my first thing to do, had you not rocked up with that kiss"

"That's fine" he smiled

"Hold up are you telling me what the fuck I can and can't do Evans?" she sat up at him asking

"Actually I wasn't, but you can bet everything you have on right now I will in the future" he laughed

"I don't actually know how I feel about that" she giggled

"You'll feel good, trust me" he smiled moving so she could lay in his arms "Actually would you mind if I came to see your Mom too, it's been a while?"

"Not at all, she needs to get used to you again" she reached up and kissed his lips again

"You intend on me being a permanent fixture then?"

"Yes but where we get fixed depends on what you choose to do, your plans and everything"

"Plans" he frowned "I have four days left to make my mind up"

"A wise Uncle told me to add in a little thing called unforeseeable, I recommend it" she smiled up at him, later that day they went to see her Mom, had dinner and sat on the veranda talking for a while before they went back to Mercy's place and separate rooms

The next day was heaven, he had got up and cooked breakfast, which they ate slowly before they got dressed, they walked through the streets remembering old times, he walked her through some of his feelings during his time at school, they did some shopping and ate some lunch, by late afternoon they were holding hands, toucing each other huggings a lot, by early evening they found themselves at the local fair ground, they'd been there so many times in their younger years but today everything seemed romantic, they went on a few rides, mainly to get some privacy because he'd started to get recognised, they spent a lot of time whispering and taking selfies, kissed a lot and laughed even more.

The evening fell and they finally went to a quaint little resturant to have an intimate meal "In a previous life I could have been called a whore, to use your word for me" he laughed "But I'm sitting here with you and I feel like a virgin" he giggled as they ate

"I'm a virgin to making love with feelings invovled too, if that counts" she giggled

"Everything's going to be new with you, I can feel it" he grabbed her hand across the table "I'm investing into this relationship, I want it so bad"

"You always wanted it bad"

"You knew that?"

"We both knew what we actually wanted Sam, I guess we'd shared those dreams of ours one sober afternoon and just needed them to come true to prove our worth"

"I guess, I'm sorry I didn't get to your show"

"Don't be, I didn't come to any of your openings either, I couldn't ..."

"Why?"

"I can sing it better"

"Please" he raised his eyebrow at her smiling, they'd struck up another kind of relationship through song a while back and he was hoping that could happen again

"Soon as we get home" she smiled

"I like the sound of that, home" he wiped his mouth and threw his napkin on the table "And I'm ready for home" he got up telling her

"Me too" she grabbed his hand and watched him pay for their meal before they left to walk the short journey home, swinging their held hands like teenagers "Is this going to be a long courtship?"

"Depends on how much we feel we need to know each other before we get dirty about it" he laughed

"I'd say around four years" she smiled up at him

"Four years?" he looked at her waiting for a punch line, frowning when it didn't look like one was coming

"Yeah four years, we could maybe take the past three years off that and... maybe the year previous when we lived in each other pockets and call this day as courtship over, what do you say?"

"You know what I say" he pulled her to him by her hand and flung his arm around her shoulders walking faster towards home

"Okay" she went straight over to her player when they got in, coming back as the music to **'Something He Can Feel' by Aretha Franklin** blasted through the speakers, he sat back on the couch with a smile on his face as she blasted out a full theatre ready version _**"Oh, but you will see, that it's just a matter of time, my love will surely make you mine"**_ she looked into his eyes singing at him, he chuckled and reached out for her, but she didn't let him, she had a message to convey _**"I like the kinds of ways we have our fun, his loving ways send me on and on**_ _ **oh, with my man, people out there can you understand"**_ Mercy couldn't deny this might have been the best performance of that song since she's started playing the part. Pretty soon she was at the end missing out some of the drama the song brought with it and his face looked like he'd got the message as she closed up with a rather tame _**"**_ _ **Giving him something he can feel, yeah feel it"**_ smiling as he genuinely clapped her efforts

"I felt it" he smiled getting up to kiss her "And I hear it" he hugged her, his head resting on top of her head as he spoke "I haven't actually sung out loud in a while, maybe since we sang in church last" he eventually looked down at her saying

"Really?"

"I'm not about to start lying to you" he grinned

"Okay so..." she looked up at him smiling "I challenge you to sing to me"

"Seriously?" he laughed "I don't think I can..."

"It's a challenge, yes and a smile or no and an argument, your choice" her bitch came out for a second making him smile

"Okay I'll sing" he kissed her again, he couldn't get enough of her lips "here goes" he walked over to the music unit and found himself a song "I have one" he smile finding the track and pressing play smiling as **'Straight Up & Down' by Bruno Mars **came through the speakers ** _"Girl, I bet your Momma named you good looking, cause you sure look good to me, my attention, oh, yes, you just took it, you're probably the finest thing that I ever seen..."_ **he'd started off shaky but he was in the mood for this now, it was like riding a bike, it had never left him, he smiled as he made suggestive moves to her, watching her giggle as them, he wanted this woman, she joined in when he sung the chorus' **_"Girl, tell me when you're ready, ready to go, just say the word and then we'll take this home, don't you fight the feeling, cause I feel it too, freaking me baby, while I'm freaking you..."_**

 _ **"Ooh, I know exactly what is on your mind, oh baby, we gonna have some fun tonight, straight up and down"**_ she jumped up singing with him

"Is that okay?" he asked

"Come with me" she took his hand leading him to her bedroom "You can take the lead, I don't want you thinking I'm bullying you" she laughed

"Strip" he told her turning to shut the door before his mind was back in the room, watching her do as he'd asked before he started taking his clothes off

He lay her gently on the bed and ran his hand down her face, that beautiful face that made him feel so many different emotions all at once, he kissed her from her forehead all the way down her face, she lay beneath him with her eyes closed taking it all in. He kissed her lips and her eye opened for a second as they looked at each other consent in both their eyes before he went back in kissing her neck, between her breasts and all the way down her body following his hand with his lips as she slowly started to move beneath him.

"Tell me this isn't a dream?" he gasped

"It's not a dream" she smiled grabbing his hair stopping his face from disappearing down her body "I love you" she told him, letting go of his hair to let him carry on

"I love you too, listen" he smiled as **'Angel' Aretha Franklin** came through the music centre as he kissed her tummy as they lay listening to the woman singing **_"Too long have I loved so unattached within, so much that I know that I need somebody so, so I'll just go on hoping that I find me someone, got to find me an angel in my life, in my life_ " **"I heard you singing that, that night we nearly went too far, before I left"

"You did?" she laughed

"Very loudly" he laughed "But you've met me now, so don't you worry" he smiled kissing further down her tummy, they'd started on another journey, this time together

The End

 ** _RIP Aretha Franklin_**


End file.
